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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
fandomqueen Offline
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Unhappy Handeling Rejection - October 24th 2018, 12:39 AM

I am in the process of transferring to a new school within my college, and discovered the professional frat that represents that school (Kinesiology).

Now, I have always been a homebody. I don't really like parties and drinking, and I'm currently in the process of trying to accept that part of myself. It just seems like everywhere I go, people act like drinking and partying are fundamental parts of college and I feel like there's something wrong with me. I do enjoy house parties, and I'm in a club that has those occasionally.

Anyways, so I tried to rush the professional frat so I could force myself to meet people I would be sharing classes with, and also get the "college experience" of occasionally going out. One note is that I personally would never join a social sorority, that is not something meant for a person like me. Because of that, I was a little iffy about this frat too, because it seemed to be more social than professional.

However, I got rejected. They said to talk to as many people as I could at the rush event and I did. I'm certain I talked to almost all of the brothers there. I should add that there were two rush events and I could not make the second one, so it is possible that more brothers were at that event. I emailed them back asking for any advice they had if I decided to rush again and I got no reply. I've been racking my brain over what I did wrong. Was I too weird, awkward? I mean some professional frats are super competitive but based on what I saw, this one didn't seem to have too many people applying. Maybe I'm wrong, but I can't help but feel like there's something wrong with me.

Sorry about the super long rant, thanks for reading.
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Re: Handeling Rejection - October 24th 2018, 05:12 AM

First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you aren't into the whole Greek life culture. It's definitely not for everyone. You will eventually find people who are similar to you and be able to build a circle of friends. One important thing to remember is that you are never going to please everyone. Their acceptance doesn't define your worth as a person or anything like that, even if it feels like it.

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Celyn Offline
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Re: Handeling Rejection - October 24th 2018, 04:38 PM

I know I'm not familiar with your education system and I have heard about the Greek life, and I can see why you would feel the pressure to fit in.

You don't like parties and drinking, and that's okay! Unfortunately, there can be a lot of pressure on students to live the typical lifestyle of partying and such, but it's not for everyone and even those that do go along with it to fit in may feel feel similar to you.

It's bound to make you think about yourself when you have been rejected and noticed that there weren't many applying to the frat. But as it's already been said, a rejection doesn't reflect on you as a person. Rejections happen for all sorts of reasons and though it feels unpleasant, as long as you remember that you are more than the rejection, it's okay!

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Re: Handeling Rejection - November 8th 2018, 02:59 PM

There will be pressure, but it is very easy to fight with it - put yourself above these and try to beware of such friends among your friends - if you don’t like it
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Re: Handeling Rejection - November 8th 2018, 07:14 PM

How long ago did you email them? Have you tried to follow up just to be like "hey, I haven't heard back,so I thought I'd follow up just in case this was missed. Would love to find out how things are going?" or whatever?

It might be that they just lost track of the email and forgot to answer.

However, if I am misunderstanding and there are other factors that make you think you have been rejected besides and email and feeling possible insecure in the new environment, that sucks. It's never great being rejected. Try not to beat yourself up though. It sounds like your introverted, and frats always seem really... like... social and waaaaaay more into partying than those of us who are introverted want. That doesn't mean that you're socially awkward or anything, just that it's not the right environment for you. And it might have literally nothing to do with you not fitting in, it might just be that they can only take 15 new people and had to make choices and sometimes when choices get made, you can't always take everyone even if there are 35 people there and you have to cut 20 and all 20 are cool people so, idk, it might have just been a thing they had to do
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