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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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fandomqueen Offline
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Unhappy Spiraling - November 8th 2018, 12:44 AM

So I started college last year and while I'm pretty stable and healthy overall, my mental health seems to be getting worse. From both a social and academic perspective, I'm not where I want to be.

The academic part is easier to deal with because I know it's normal to stress about grades and getting into graduate school, it's scary! But sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm not doing research like most people I know, I don't have a job, I'm not constantly running around like everyone I see. Yes, I'm busy, but compared to everyone else, I feel like I'm not doing nearly as much as I should. My grades aren't the best, but I know I still have time to bring them up.

The social aspects are a little more complicated. I'm best friends with my roommate and I'm super grateful for that, and I have like 3 more close friends here and there, but not really a group of friends. I don' have people to go out to eat with, or go to concerts with, or travel with. Everyone around me always has groups of people and are going to parties with them, or celebrating birthdays, and other fun stuff. Now, the party scene isn't really my thing, but it'd still be nice to have a group of people who liked to do things together. Despite having a few friends, I still get an overwhelming feeling of loneliness.

I don't know how to get a group of friends. I'm in a club and it's a lot of fun, and I am planning on joining the board so hopefully I'll get closer with some of them there. I tried to join the professional frat for my major but they rejected me, which also kind of made me feel like maybe there's something wrong with me. But everyone around me always seems to know people in classes and always have someone to study with and hang out with and I want that too. I also realize that part of it may be me thinking I have no friends when I do, but either way something needs to change.

Sorry for rambling, thanks for reading.
   
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Re: Spiraling - November 8th 2018, 03:03 PM

I think you just need a little more time to get comfortable.
   
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Re: Spiraling - November 9th 2018, 09:52 PM

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time.

College can seem to get more difficult as we progress and as you realise, it's fairly common to stress over grades and such. That said, it's okay to not have a job or appear to be as busy as others. By taking on extra responsibilities we can run the risk of spreading ourselves thinly and burning out- it can help to just focus on what matters. 'Should' is a tricky word because even when we are really busy we can still tell ourselves that we 'should' be doing more and that we are never good enough. Instead try to be gentle on yourself. Is it realistic for you to take on more responsibilities? How would you cope with the added stress? Or manage your time? Try not to compare yourself as everyone is different. You're doing just fine

Socialising can be difficult, and I think it's common to feel a bit lonely, even if you have friends that are a bit more spread out than a close knit group. It's good that you joined a club and I hope that you are able to get closer to other members. It might also help to reach out, initiate and make plans with others as sometimes it can be tempting to wait for others to invite us but sometimes we might need to be the ones to take the first step to get the ball rolling.


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Re: Spiraling - November 11th 2018, 04:36 PM

Wait a while and everything will be fine with you! The main thing do not despair and believe in the best
   
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