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Temperance Offline
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Question I donít know how to feel anything anymore - February 19th 2020, 06:08 PM

The crash after the high feels so awful. I couldnít even fake being animated at work today. I tried but I donít know how well I did at fooling people and I am not myself at all. I know recognizing is supposed to be a good thing but I feel like the harder I try the more Iím shutting down and not functioning. I just started back after a 2 week leave so taking sick days isnít an option.

How do you deal with a feeling that almost feels worse than feeling suicidal (Iím not harming myself at this point), feeling like you need to hurt just to feel but not even having the drive to act on anything?

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Re: I donít know how to feel anything anymore - February 21st 2020, 09:59 PM

Sorry to hear you are struggling. Do you have to fake being animated at work? Sometimes when we are feeling really low, we may feel more in 'survival' mode and only do things that are necessary. If there's no need to be animated, then maybe you could let your co-workers know you are struggling (you don't have to say exactly what if you don't feel comfortable) and that may take some of the pressure off from trying to be enthusiastic when you aren't feeling it. Your co-workers and boss should be understanding so you shouldn't feel like you need to 'fool' anyone. If you need support, people should be there for you.

I can't imagine how you must be feeling. But it's so good you haven't self-harmed. Not being able to feel anything is an awful thing itself and I understand why self-harm can seem tempting. Do you practice grounding techniques- focusing on what you can see, hear, feel etc? That might help a bit when you feel you aren't feeling much. Most importantly, know that this feeling won't last. It sounds like an awful thing to deal with, especially if it lasts a while, but it won't last forever.

Hope others can share their ideas for dealing with this feeling too

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