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lido Offline
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Can't tell what's real - August 17th 2009, 07:00 AM

I can't tell what's real anymore. It's like I don't know the difference between what I'm really feeling and just what I think I should be feeling or am just pretending to feel. And I'm talking to no one more and more, I don't mean not talking to anyone I mean literally talking to nothing. Or sometimes I'll talk to myself as if I'm my father carrying on both sides of the conversation for us, and I don't know why or if I really can't help but do this or only think I shouldn't be able to help it. And then sexually it's like sometimes I like boys then sometimes girls on and off for nearly 3 years now and I still don't really get whether I really like either or just want to try and feel special. Then sometimes the stories and people I imagine seem realer to me then real ones, and they're usually sad stories too. It just feels like something is wrong, almost worse then last year. I haven't dreamed in 3 months but the last 3 nights I've dreamed of only destruction and death

people like you and me, it's our job to care it's all we know it's what we were created to do. Even if the people we care about weren't real or didn't know us, we just keep on caring anyway. That way we make sure a little piece of that person lingers on watching over us, like the heroes in our dreams like the stars in the sky.
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Prozac Offline
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Re: Can't tell what's real - August 19th 2009, 10:46 AM

Hey there,

It seems as though you have quite a lot going on for you right now and like you're quite confused about a few issues. I believe that the reason why you're feeling the way you are is probably due to these underlying issues. Perhaps your dreams are also due to these issues and could be your subconscious trying to work through these things whilst you're sleeping.

I think that I understand what you're explaining about talking to nothing and I don't think it is really that uncommon, I think it may be something that people do when they're simply bored or if they're lonely or have something that they need to say or talk about. If this is bothering you then perhaps you could try and make more of a conscious effort to try and talk to people which would perhaps reduce your need to want to do this. However, it's not causing any harm and I don't really think that you should worry about that too much.
As for your sexuality issues I honestly don't think that is unusual at all. Most teenagers are confused about their sexuality at some point and even into adulthood people still can't be quite sure of their sexuality. It can be frustrating and it may be worrying for you, but I can assure you that it's nothing strange or wrong with you, it's completely natural. Don't worry about knowing which gender you prefer or whether you like both or neither. It is okay.

Have you ever tried counselling or talking to someone about how you've been feeling and about these issues? Talking to someone about these things whether they are face to face or through a helpline could help you to try and work through things and perhaps make some more sense of what's bothering you.

Take care.
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