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.:nat:. Offline
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Question Why can I only talk to guys? - September 22nd 2009, 08:49 AM

Hey everyone!

let me start by telling you, i am a 16 year old girl and i have a lot of problems. Depression, anxiety, eating disorder etc etc.

I was wondering, why do I onl feel comfortable talking to males than females about this personal stuff? Why do I feel I can only confide in males? Isnt it nornally the opposite?

I am inredibly close to my 50 year old teacher and I tell him eerything. He
s my rock.

I am just wondering...why?


Sorry if that didnt make sense.

Any answers appreciated
   
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Re: Why can I only talk to guys? - September 22nd 2009, 11:57 PM

Nat, I'm 16, and I'm just like you are. I do not feel confident enough to relay my personal thoughts to girls, because I did it once in freshman year, and she just ended up spreading it around the school! Guys (and especially adults) are less likely to spread rumors, you know? From how gossip spreads around like wildfire, it's no wonder why most girls rely on guys to share their problems with.
   
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Re: Why can I only talk to guys? - September 23rd 2009, 12:44 AM

Hey Nat,

I think it varies from person to person as far as what were comfortable sharing with others. I have no idea why but things that are more personal such as my self harm and that kind of stuff I'm more likely to share with a guy. I guess I just find it easier to open up to guys about it. They somehow seem less judgmental about things like that. Girls I've told seemed to take it more personally and it just turned into this whole big emotional deal and I'd just freeze up. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is guys just seem to care without making it into a big deal like many girls would...ya know?
   
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Re: Why can I only talk to guys? - September 23rd 2009, 09:13 AM

yeah i guess you are both right and I know that it varies form person to person...its just more LIKELY that a female open up to a female but I would chose a male anytime over females.

Although, the first time i told anyone about my selfharm and suicidal tendencies it was a male and he cried...i was like awww...please dont cry...he was a very emotional guy though.
   
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Re: Why can I only talk to guys? - September 23rd 2009, 09:00 PM

Aww, I had a guy friend that started crying once because me and an ex-friend got in a fight, and I kept talking about suicide...

Now, he tries to cheer me up by making me laugh when I'm down. When I go to girls for advice, they make up fake stuff just to make me feel better, and then they say 'I'll see ya later!' and leave. I hate it when people do that...
   
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Re: Why can I only talk to guys? - September 23rd 2009, 09:15 PM

Like everyone above me said, it varies from person to person. For me, I like talking to guys better because they aren't as emotional as girls. They seem to take the time to understand me rather than just jumping to conclusions. Also, they are less likely to gossip about me or spread rumors. Girls just seem more interested in talking about things than listening to what's going on. That's just me though.


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Re: Why can I only talk to guys? - September 25th 2009, 03:03 PM

I definitely agree that it varies from person to person, and even from gender to gender. I personally find talking to females about my issues are easier. They tend to care more?

I would actually say it depends on the gender of the majority of your friends. I find a lot of my friends are male and I couldn't talk to them about stuff, so talk to my female friends. It's all rather confusing! You need to understand however, that it is completely normal to feel that way and at the end of the day it doesn't actually matter WHO you prefer to talk to about your problems so long as you get a good reply, right?

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Re: Why can I only talk to guys? - September 25th 2009, 03:36 PM

It's a personal preference and depends on what we feel is most comfortable. Most of my friends are guys and I guess I just find it easier, they seem to make me laugh to help the crap mood pass.


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Re: Why can I only talk to guys? - September 26th 2009, 06:28 PM

Yup, I don't think this is a mental health disorder or issue, it's just personal preference. Some people prefer to talk to females and some prefer to talk to males about their personal problems, some people prefer to talk to people their age, some people prefer to talk to older people. Personally, I don't think that I have a total preference, but there are some things I'd rather talk to a guy about rather than a girl, I think that the response is different. There's nothing wrong with talking with who you are most comfortable with as long as you're talking and as long as you're comfortable. Talking to someone is a big step and you should be proud of yourself for talking to your teacher, that is really great, Nat.

Take care.
   
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Re: Why can I only talk to guys? - September 26th 2009, 10:01 PM

Hey,
I find it more easier to speak to guys about problems too.
I think it's where older guys especially are much more easy going and don't make every insignificant detail so much more than it has to be, girls over analyse way more than guys and guys are less likely to judge you.
Girls are sometimes less trustworthy than guys are.
   
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