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I'm sick of it :( - October 12th 2009, 09:21 PM

When I'm out with my friends and/or family I'm fine. I like the person I am, I can be funny, hyper, friendly etc. I can act how I want. I'm even the same when I'm in places like ASDA or clothes shops. But when it comes to friends of friends or when I'm in college I'm awful I freeze up and can barely talk. I wanted to ask this new guy in my class if I could lend a pencil off him today, it took me about 5 minutes to actually talk to him. I just couldn't get the words out and was scared I'd make an idiot out of myself (for asking for a pencil stupid I know) I was shaking like crazy after he give it to me too. I really like 80% of the people in my class I just feel awkward around them. These two girls have started talking to me and I've been to dinner with them but I know they're only asking me because they feel guilty if I'm on my own. I can hardly talk to them either. I hate the person I become around these people.

-had to get that out somewhere- I know I've posted a similar thread before so sorry if I'm annoying you guys


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Re: I'm sick of it :( - October 13th 2009, 04:31 PM

Not annoying at all! You definitely aren't alone with how you feel. When I was in high school, and into my first year of college, I had a similar tendency to freeze up outside of situations I was comfortable in (i.e. people I was comfortable with). What really ended up pushing me past it was simply my jobs, as I worked as a Cashier/Retail Employee and still do. Part of it for me also had to do with the fact that I grew up with a stuttering problem that is for the most part under control, but still causes anxiety sometimes.

Also, don't be too sure about those two girls. People have a tendency to project onto other people how they feel, and that may be what you are doing there.
   
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Make Believe Offline
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Re: I'm sick of it :( - October 13th 2009, 10:43 PM

Thanks <3 I used to work as a barmaid (well, I worked three shifts and then quit as it was too much for me) my mum was conviced it would help me but it made me worse. Well, the other day I was smoking during our break next to this tree I normally sit under and one of the girls asked me to come over to their group. I could just tell they done it because I was on my own and they felt guilty. Which is nice of them but i don't want to feel like a charity case.


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Re: I'm sick of it :( - October 13th 2009, 10:54 PM

I don't think you are a charity case because they invited you. Maybe (and probably) they want to get to know you better. If they are putting this much effort into it, I think it goes beyond charity .

The big thing that got me through it was that I simply "learned" to make small talk. It drives some of my friends nuts, but I can small talk my way for hours, which is the big thing I gained from my jobs. I can have a deep conversation, but small talking for awhile makes me much more comfortable. When I'm working, what I always do is to look for something I share in common with the person I'm going to talk to. Say, for example, they are wearing a college shirt. I'm an avid college football fan, and a college student. I start talking about something related to college, we both get comfortable, and get to know each other from there. Yesterday, I started talking to a couple and asked if they decorative plate they were looking at had their favorite bible verse on it. 15 minutes later, I'd found out they planted a church near where I was born and that they knew a family that I was friends with where I went to college.

The point of that story, in the grand scheme, is that starting small gets you comfortable. Getting to know these girls could be a small step.
   
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Make Believe Offline
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Re: I'm sick of it :( - October 14th 2009, 07:11 PM

Thanks for the advice I was actually talking to this guy in my class today about Flyleaf as they were talking about Christian rock, so that's a step forward I haven't actually had a panic attack in college as of yet so I guess that's a good sign ^_____^

Thanks for the advice Bruce <3


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