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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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Steph-O
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OCD Rant... idk indifferent sadness. - October 13th 2009, 05:33 PM

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So they just put me on this antipsychotic and diagnosed me with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... and they said this medication is also used for skitsophrenia, and bipolar disorder... the doctor said that he doesn't think im seeing things but that there's something wrong with my brain...

...i feel so mentally exhausted... and my body has broken down too...
I wish they would just put me in the hospital for a while...

i really don't want to be anywhere...

and im in need of rest...

that's why all this started anyway...

i exhaust myself with thinking...

and my rib dislocates... and i panick... i had to get up from bed last night because my dog was barking in the back yard... i was having a panick attack because I was afraid there were zombies getting ready to break in... (crazy I know) but i had to get up and check. Also if I hear any sounds that i don't know where they are comming from I panick...

im always afraid something is comming after me when I'm outside at night and I glance around all paranoid looking... but i am paranoid...

i was normal just a few short months ago... well closer to normal...
now i can't control what i used to be able to

last time my rib dislocated i read 20 books... all on pregnancy... pregnancy and childbirth...

that's when this all started anyway... i thought i was pregnant and then my stomache started swelling...

I walk around in a haze of obsession for weeks, exercizing, and fantasizing... and reading about the same things over and over to make sure i have all the information...

i see a dog and my throat actually swells from being afraid...

i need to go to the hospital and get some rest seriously...

and i feel lonely... alone in my own little world now...

and i just want someone to talk to who understands.

I cry myself to sleep from the physical pain because it wont stop...

but the docotrs think it only happens becasue i panick too much.

i just want to go back to normal...

im not crazy...
i want a hug.


Like a diet of the mind, I just choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; perhaps my appetite to imagine and to dream. - A Beautiful Mind

I met Steven October 3rd, 2008. We've been practically inseperable ever since. ♥
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Re: OCD Rant... idk indifferent sadness. - October 13th 2009, 06:08 PM

I'm sorry, I don't really have any advice I can give =( but you can have a hug **hug**


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Re: OCD Rant... idk indifferent sadness. - October 14th 2009, 03:07 AM

Stephanie

You are not alone. You can talk to me and I will listen. I have OCD and have suffered from obsessions of worrying about things happening to me. I've felt pain before, worried my throat was closing up, got convinced I had tumors, etc. It IS possible to feel pain because of panic and anxiety. It sounds like (like with the rib incident) you ARE aware that sometimes your fear causes you to obsess intensely, which thus makes the pain worse.

It is possible to tame the OCD and make it bearable, to have those obsessions and compulsions go away. I promise. You are not crazy. OCD might make you feel like you are, but you are NOT. Promise promise promise.

I'm glad you're on meds now--with your brain working in a calmer way, your OCD should eventually calm down. If you feel like your doctors aren't listening to what you're saying or don't understand, ask to speak to someone else who will listen and understand. Take your meds, go to therapy. Both aren't always the most appealing options but they will save you.

Please know I get it. PM me ANYTIME. I'm here for you.




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Steph-O
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Re: OCD Rant... idk indifferent sadness. - October 15th 2009, 07:44 PM

thanks very much it's nice to have some reassurance every once in a while that i am not nuts.


Like a diet of the mind, I just choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; perhaps my appetite to imagine and to dream. - A Beautiful Mind

I met Steven October 3rd, 2008. We've been practically inseperable ever since. ♥
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