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LittleFish Offline
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Feel like I'm not fully conscious or aware - December 8th 2009, 02:15 AM

Lately I've noticed that I don't feel fully conscious or present in my surroundings. It's so easy for me to space out. I can stare at any object without my mind realizing what it is for any length of time. I feel like I'm the only one who exists, like the people all around me are just background noise sometimes, and others, I completely forget they're there. When I walk into a room, I don't pay attention to anything about it. I don't notice things without them being brought to my attention. It's like my mind is half-awake and people have to shake it to get me to notice things; people have to point things out to me in order to get me to observe them, so I've never been good at finding things. I don't know--it just feels like the part of my mind that's supposed to observe things is shut down most of the time. If it helps, I've never exactly been much of a visual or an auditory person--puzzles, patterns, etc. are terrible for me, along with keeping up with things like videos and lectures. I just feel dazed and distant all the time. Does anyone know what this might be or what might be causing it? It's really starting to bug me because it makes it hard for me to focus on what my teachers are saying in class. And yes, I am getting a decent ammount of sleep--about 7 or 8 hours a night.

If you still don't get what I'm saying, here's an analogy that might help; it's kind of like being underwater. You can still hear things going on above the surface and sort of see, but everything's really blurry, the sounds are muffled and distorted, etc. That's basically how it feels only with reality.
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Re: Feel like I'm not fully conscious or aware - December 8th 2009, 02:54 AM

Hey there,
When I was suffering from depression, I was experienced the sensation that you described. I felt like there was a bubble around me or something, and everything outside the bubble was going on as normal, but inside the bubble I was shutting down, like I wasn't really there. I was really withdrawn, and not really aware of my surroundings. I went through everyday in a big haze, like I was half asleep. I'm not sure if depression in something you've experienced, but if so, it could be what's causing this feeling. If your life has been hard lately, or you've been trying to cope with a hard situation, that could also be the cause. Everyone has a different way of coping, and you may find that the feeling will pass with time. I'm sure there are many possible explanations. I just thought I'd share my experience, but it doesn't mean that depression is necessarily what's behind it. Is it possible that you have the early stages of a virus, or something? Sounds weird I know, but viruses can make you dazed, fatigued etc. The main thing is not to start worrying. Try to stay positive, and surround yourself with friends and things that makes you happy. That should help this feeling pass. Good luck, and if you want to talk feel free to PM me
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LittleFish Offline
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Re: Feel like I'm not fully conscious or aware - December 16th 2009, 01:24 AM

Well, I don't know that it's depression, but it could be. I don't really feel like I'm not there so much as not functioning properly. I know I'm there, and I know other people know I'm there, but it's like some part of me that's supposed to keep up with things just stopped working. It's probably not a virus--this has been going on for as long as I can remember.

And lately, my problem with visuals has really started getting to me: not only am I having problems focusing on things outside of my body, but even things in my own head are kind of a blur. We're doing a project in my art class that requires following a set of specific instructions, and the teacher even demonstrated for us so we wouldn't be confused. Yet when the time came for us to actually do the steps, I just--couldn't. I had to keep asking the teacher for help, and he kept on acting as though I hadn't been paying attention. It makes me feel so awful, because I WAS paying attention, but I couldn't explain why I was unable to grasp the concepts we were going over. I had to get help on so much of the project from the other students, and I feel like such a baby for it. There's another problem I've been having, too: I can't sight read even though I've been playing the piano for five years. I'm entering the level six book now, and I'm barely able to sight read level two material. It's like there's a part of my brain that's supposed to draw everything together in a logical format, but there's some kind of block there, so it can't. I try to understand logic problems, follow instructions for building things, picture things, read complicated passages, read music, do addition in my head, etc. but for some reason I just can't seem to grasp anything. Don't get me wrong: I'm a great student. My grades are high, and I've always done really well in all subjects. I can read and do math just fine, but I often find myself going back over passages and problems multiple times because I missed half of what I was reading. But I feel like I have a learning disorder or something even though I know I don't. What should I do about this? Talking to a doctor or whatever seems kind of silly to me since, well, I don't hear about people coming to their doctors with this kind of trouble very often..

Anyway, I apologize for the long rant, and I do appreciate your help. I didn't really consider depression, but you never know. Hey, at least it's helping me narrow down the possibilities, right?
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Re: Feel like I'm not fully conscious or aware - December 16th 2009, 02:56 AM

I dont think you are depressed it just seems like you are a deep thinker. Although that sounds obviouse you probably have a hard time focusing on things that just dont seem important at the time. You rather sub conciously think about more important things in your life. I think you have already done a great things by realizing you are not the type of person who pays attention in class ect...try to focus on whats in front of you at the moment. Good Luck
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