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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Frangelina Offline
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In Need of Help ASAP! - December 31st 2009, 04:41 PM

well as some of you may know i have depression and psychosis and have been in a psychiatric hospital for, all together, over a year.

things have been pretty bad over the last few days, i took and overdose and have been cutting myself.
i ran away from home last night but eventually came back after the police where called.

i know i need help but today when i saw my care co-ordinatior i couldnt even look at him never mind speak to him. i was so embarassed about whats going on with me.

so here it is,
i want to kill someone. i know this isnt normal for me, however wanting to kill myself is.
i need help! i dont know what to do.
i couldnt live with myself if i even hurt someone else never mind killed them but i dont feel like i am in control- alice is.

i dont see my care worker until monday now and im petrified that someone is going to end up hurt or dead.

should i just save everyone the trouble and kill myself ?
or should i ruin new years eve again by ending up in hospital ?

im so confused someone please help me

xox


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Last edited by Frangelina; December 31st 2009 at 04:44 PM. Reason: didnt finish writing.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: In Need of Help ASAP! - December 31st 2009, 04:51 PM

My advice is to tell someone. Anyone really. Whether it's parents, a friend, or calling your co-ordinatior and explaining why you were scared to tell him. But the thing is, you shouldn't be embarassed by this. It's not like it's your fault or anything! As I'm well aware, a lot of mental illnesses are completely out of yours, mine, or anyone's control. Things just happen... All we can do is ride it out until things get better, and try our hardest to make is more tolerable and able to deal with.

But what you definatly shouldn't do, is "save everyone the trouble" and kill yourself. That is not the right thing to do because people still need you around. People will need you around, and it's kind of hard to be around when you're lying in the dirt.

Again, I think you should simply tell someone how you're feeling right now. They can help you sort through the feelings, figure out why you're feeling them, and what to do about them. You're never alone here. =]



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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: In Need of Help ASAP! - January 1st 2010, 06:22 PM

Hey there.

It sounds like you are in a really hard situation here. You need to think about what is best for you and others, and i think no one should die, so i think you need to talk to someone. If you honestly believe you can wait until Monday to speak to your co-ordinator, then fine. But if you really dont, and you have to be honest with your self here, then i think you need to call him/her, ring the police, go and see your doctor or tell a friend or family member, but make sure they are taking you seriously. I myself have been in a pysciatric unit, and i know you probaly do not want to go back there, but if it is for the best, and is going to make you better, or just pick you back up again, maybe it is for the best. You dont need to kill yourself. You are stronger than that and you can beat this no matter how hard it feels right now. Just stay strong, and talk to people dear, Tell them the truth. Open your heart out to them and let them know what is going on and how you are feeling. You ARE important, and you matter, okay. You can do this. Beleiev in yourself and talk to someone.


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: In Need of Help ASAP! - January 1st 2010, 06:35 PM

you need to tell someone if you are thinking about killing someone - this is not something that can wait until you next see your care-worker. killing yourself is not the answer, either..

this is not your fault but you do need to let someone know what thoughts are going through your head because this is serious.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: In Need of Help ASAP! - January 2nd 2010, 03:02 AM

Hi,
I'm sure what you're dealing with is incredibly scary. With help things CAN get better, but you need to get help right away, like RIGHT NOW. I'm sure your family would much much rather you be in the hospital then you kill yourself or anyone else. I'm glad you reached out for help here at TeenHelp, but i think you need more help then teenhelp alone can give you. please let someone know right away.
you're not alone
Megan



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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: In Need of Help ASAP! - January 2nd 2010, 03:41 AM

So, I made it through the night without doing any serious damage to myself or anything to anyone else.
thanks for your comments guys its really made me think hard about what i have to do.

Im still really struggling, i walked out of my house this evening and ended up being frog marched into the police station. not quite sure how that happened to be honest.

anyway my dad came to collect me and nothing more was said, infact since i cant home at 10 past 12am and its not 20 to 5am they havent even been in my room too
see if im okay.

while i was out alice was there, she made me watch as she tried to hang herself in a shoe shop across from where i was sat. when the police stopped she told me to run but i didnt have the strength i was too cold and scared that she was going to kill herself.

alice is here now, telling me to cut and that my parents dont even care about me so i should suffocate them and then stab them.

i dont know what to do, i really DO NOT want to go back into hospital!

anyway thats all just letting you know how i was getting on and thanking you for you comments
xox


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
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Re: In Need of Help ASAP! - January 2nd 2010, 03:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frangelina View Post
So, I made it through the night without doing any serious damage to myself or anything to anyone else.
thanks for your comments guys its really made me think hard about what i have to do.

Im still really struggling, i walked out of my house this evening and ended up being frog marched into the police station. not quite sure how that happened to be honest.

anyway my dad came to collect me and nothing more was said, infact since i cant home at 10 past 12am and its not 20 to 5am they havent even been in my room too
see if im okay.

while i was out alice was there, she made me watch as she tried to hang herself in a shoe shop across from where i was sat. when the police stopped she told me to run but i didnt have the strength i was too cold and scared that she was going to kill herself.

alice is here now, telling me to cut and that my parents dont even care about me so i should suffocate them and then stab them.

i dont know what to do, i really DO NOT want to go back into hospital!

anyway thats all just letting you know how i was getting on and thanking you for you comments
xox
do you think that you might act on this thought?. if you do then you need to call the police or call a helpline or someone who can help you out.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Frangelina Offline
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Re: In Need of Help ASAP! - January 2nd 2010, 03:51 AM

to be honest its getting more and more likely that i will.
i dont really want to but i feel like i have to.
i need to get away from them before i do it.
i need to get outta the house but ive got no chance at this time of night and i dont even have a key so i can let myself out.

xox


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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
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Re: In Need of Help ASAP! - January 2nd 2010, 03:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frangelina View Post
to be honest its getting more and more likely that i will.
i dont really want to but i feel like i have to.
i need to get away from them before i do it.
i need to get outta the house but ive got no chance at this time of night and i dont even have a key so i can let myself out.

xox
awh, i'm so sorry that you're going through this - it sounds like a really horrible situation that you're in at the moment. is there anyone else in your house, aside from your parents? have you got a sibling you could talk to?. if you're going to do anything to harm yourself or anyone else then please contact the police or a medical professional. please know that none of this is your fault.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Frangelina Offline
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Re: In Need of Help ASAP! - January 2nd 2010, 04:53 AM

[COLOR="rgb(153, 50, 204)"]yeah my sisters are in the house but they are younger then me and asleep and my one older sister, well lets just say that i could easily kill her aswell as my parents.
i dont want to call anyone i just want to get it over with.
[/color]


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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Frangelina Offline
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Re: In Need of Help ASAP! - January 2nd 2010, 04:05 PM

just an update guys.
im still at home but last night was really bad. i was sat at a bus stop for what i thought was about half an hour but the police said i didnt move in 3 hours :|
i got took into the police station and had to wait for my dad to come collect me.
alice was really bad last night so i rung childline like was suggested and the woman i spoke to said she was going to ring the police on me if i didnt go wake my mum up and tell her what was going on with me.
so i woke my mum up and told her and to be honest she didnt give two flying fucks about how bad i was feeling.
i feel soo poorly all i can do is sleep. im exhausted. i need help but my parents dont want to give it to me. they just think im going to "snap outta it" soon but the only way this will go away is if i do what alice says.

xox


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Re: In Need of Help ASAP! - January 2nd 2010, 04:15 PM

who's Alice?


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  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: In Need of Help ASAP! - January 2nd 2010, 04:18 PM

alice is the voice i hear
xox


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