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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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MowLiao Offline
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Feeling sick in the stomach constantly. - January 7th 2010, 11:25 PM

Hey there. ^^

My name's Melissa and I'm 17 - I'm new to the forums and have sort of been searching for a discussion around the internet that may have talked about this somewhere, but I can't seem to find anything similar to my situation, so I've chosen here to start a discussion... if you don't mind.

It isn't that bad, but I want what discussion and advice I can get from people who're used to talking about things like this... because every time I tell a friend they simply say "I don't know." or "How strange..." or something similar - and I know it isn't their fault they can't find how to respond, but it frustrates me a great deal.

Well, my problem is nowadays I'm feeling sick to my stomach and sinking feeling constantly. I know it is emotional, because when I was 13 this happened frequently whenever I became in a low mood. It actually started particularly when I had my first "crush" on someone - not someone in real life, but someone over the internet. I'd have them at the back of my mind constantly and feeling so bad/sick in my stomach.

Actually I'm sort of unsure whether it was a crush - it was more of an obsession and a fixture on someone... But anyway.

I have a boyfriend now, and mostly when I'm talking to him (it's a LDR - over the internet... mainly because I don't want to have a known boyfriend whilst I'm living with my parents) I feel pretty much fine. Sometimes when I'm talking to others I will also feel completely fine - as long as I'm having fun whilst talking to them - which now isn't often because I'm too tired to have fun talking to people, and I feel so distant. As soon as I'm alone or at home I will feel like this completely.

This isn't just virtually but also physically. Today, the only thing that cheered me up was getting to talk to my closest friend who I've been friends with for several years, but as soon as I stopped talking to her, this sinking, sickening feeling came back again.

It's also incredibly bad during the mornings or when I've just woken up. I can barely eat my breakfast - all food just makes me feel repulsed. It sometimes also happens during dinner where I have to force myself to eat to keep myself occupied, and after I'm finished eating, it becomes quite unbearable.

I'm worried about it. It makes me lie my head on whatever's in front of me frequently (ie. a desk or a table) which sort of comforts me because my stomach doesn't feel... exposed, and more times than not, I have my arms crossed over my stomach because that too lessens the discomfort. I'm sure this is bad for my posture - I keep slouching... I can't really sit up straight for more than a few minutes... and I guess I'd like a reason why I feel like this, and what I can do about it and maybe talk to some people who might possibly feel the same.

I was flitting through threads and I found the phrase "Separation anxiety disorder", because it seems to be linked with people and (according to Wiki) I fit a lot of the symptoms... but I have my doubts.

Just for more info, my boyfriend - who's been diagnosed to have severe depression - has told me I have high anxiety, self-esteem issues and symptoms of depression. He's told me to seek help for it - but again this is another thing I'm resistant to doing whilst I'm living with my parents. I'm Chinese - which may explain a lot of things about my life style and upbringing. I'm not going to really elaborate, because I don't think these things are relevant, but ask if you need to know.

...But could someone help me on this? I hope I've posted in the right topic... I know it isn't the most severe case you can get, and I'm sort of feeling nervous posting a small matter such as this amongst all these pretty severe and nearly life-threatening threads.

Thanks a lot,

~ Melissa
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Re: Feeling sick in the stomach constantly. - January 8th 2010, 11:00 PM

Hey Melissa

As I am sure you know no one on here can diagnose you with a mental health problem or anything like that but from all the feelings you have described it is clear that something isn't right and it's not okay for you to have to feel like this on a daily basis, something should be done. But yeah, I am fully aware this is easier said then done.

I'm not sure what the policy is where you live with going to the doctors alone? Like I know where I live you can go to the doctors at any age alone and as long as you don't give any serious information [ie you are suicidal] they won't tell your parents. Well, I am pretty sure it's any age because I went to the doctors confidentially at 15 Are you aware of your policy? Is the doctors something you would consider? By going there they'd be able to give you a firm diagnosis and then you'd know where your at, maybe something to think about

Other then that I guess we need to think of things that you can do to help yourself now, because having to live like this is really not okay at all. Keep talking to your boyfriend about how you are feeling because it's really important you don't start to shut yourself out and that you can continue being open with those around you. Is there anything in life you really enjoy? A sport? Shopping? Something like that, that you could make a more regular thing?

I really hope things improve for you, and yeah, please don't hesitate to get in touch with me. I'm always here if you need a chat.

Take care <3
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Re: Feeling sick in the stomach constantly. - January 12th 2010, 08:10 PM

I've already tried going to the doctors. They suggested I go to a charity-based help centre which offers free counselling to teenage individuals because I'm under 18. I went there, went for a seven week course with a counsellor and got no where. I talked to her, she nodded, frequently giving me a forced smile, and then there was silence with a few hesitant and useless questions from her. I appreciate that she was there to help me - she was a nice woman with a lot of care for her clients, I am guessing, but one that couldn't help me.

Obviously I stopped taking sessions from her, and haven't been since. I'm... scared of putting myself in a position to have to say "no I don't want anymore sessions from you" from there again if I ask for another counsellor - and I have a feeling it isn't counselling I'm looking for; I think it's therapy...

Well, currently my boyfriend and I are going through stressful times at the moment. His dad is dying from lung cancer and me... I can't take school well, because I go to a school with high demands which just put me down, I think. I'm in my last two years of it and have been there for the past 13 years (I'm not joking...) so I can't move school either.

... but my boyfriend and I currently have some issues between us as well as there being external influences. At the moment he's refusing to talk to me...

Actually in general I've not had a good day today... I took a biology exam I'm pretty sure I'll have to retake and I had to talk to the deputy head of my school about work I haven't done which involved me being told that I waste their time by being like this and fighting the urge to cry in front of two teachers.

But um... I actually don't seem to have anything I enjoy anymore. I used to like being creative - drawing, writing, playing music and such... but I'm also severely low on self confidence and so don't think I'm good enough to.

I really... >_< I... guess I can't say I want help, because I know nothing will be a magical cure for me. But I feel so low and down in the dumps at the moment. I really don't know what to do.
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