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Imaginary Offline
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Location: Arkham Asylum, Gotham City

Posts: 193
Join Date: January 14th 2009

Rant sorrt scared - July 20th 2010, 12:53 PM

I'm scared to sleep. I'm scared to check my emails. I feel horrible all the time. I can't leave my house. I'm scared. It hurts to leave and I get anxiety. I get angry. I feel very parinoid. I don't feel depressed really at the moment, just a lot of anxiety and that's not fun. I can think. My head hurts. What's wrong with me? I think no one likes me. I have no friends; I've lived here for over a year and I haven't made any friends, and the friends that I keep in contact with over the phone and email I'm too scared to contact because I get anxiety from phones and checking my email. I don't like being around people, but I don't like being alone. Sometimes I want to kill myself. I want to self harm again sort of, and I'm so lonely. Should I go to a hospital thingy or whatever they call it? Psych ward? I'm not a danger to myself at the moment, but I feel really bad all the time and I wish I didn't. I can't remember anything. I'm scared you're going to hate me because I'll forget that maybe yesterday or something I was happy and doing just fine but now I don't remember. I wish someone loved me, and I wish I could love them and I didn't want to kill myself or puke just from being around someone.

Thank you for listening. I'm not feeling very well. Do I need big time I wish you didn't hate me. I see a therapist; I'm seeing her today.

As far as I can tell, I always feel anxious or depressed, or perhaps like puking because I don't like being so numb. What do I do? Sorry for ranting. I'm not feeling good.


myspace.com/lonesome_fish for poetry. I like feedback sometimes. And I like smiley faces .
   
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