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LittleFish Offline
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Paranoid - July 22nd 2010, 10:38 PM

There's something that's been bothering me; I get paranoid really easily, often times about small, insignificant little things. I'm constantly afraid that people are turning against me, sometimes in normal ways like worrying they're ignoring me. But sometimes it's not in normal ways. One time a few years back, I wouldn't eat for an entire day because I was convinced for some reason that my parents were trying to poison me. And I'm always worried that people are watching me. If I'm taking a walk and someone looks at me, I automatically assume they're going to try to hurt me and get away as fast as possible.

I'm also very paranoid about having my privacy invaded. I won't write journals because I'm afraid someone will find it and read it. When I'm alone, I won't talk to myself or do anything that might be embarassing because I'm worried that there are cameras or microphones hidden somewhere. Sometimes, I won't even let myself think about certain things because I'm afraid that someone might be reading my thoughts.

Aside from those things, I also have an almost superstitious beliefs about my influence over things. I'm thoroughly convinced that everything turns out opposite of how I feel. If I want to succeed, I fail. And when I'm certain I'm going to fail, I succeed. This is starting to mess with my head. I also have this thing where I feel like I can tell what's going to happen in the future based on how well I can picture it. Like if my friends and I make plans to go to the movies and I can't picture it very clearly, there's a good chance it's not going to happen. I know this isn't true, but I can't stop myself from thinking that way.

It seems like every time I tell someone I think there's something wrong with me, they tell me I'm totally normal. And I'm okay with that, I guess. But I really, really need to know; is this normal? Because it doesn't seem normal to me at all. It keeps me from sleeping and gives me anxiety attacks sometimes. I wish I knew what was going on.

Last edited by LittleFish; July 22nd 2010 at 10:51 PM.
   
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Re: Paranoid - July 23rd 2010, 07:38 AM

I go through the same thing, I honestly think a good dose of paranoia is perfectly healthy, however, if it is bothering you, you should try talking to a professional about it. They can give you good advice on how to deal with anxiety in your everyday life. I'm not perfectly able to explain it myself, but I saw a therapist because I wouldn't sleep in my room, as I was paranoid someone was going to break into my house during the night and would harm me/my family. It really helped, so you might want to consider that as an option.
   
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