cant go on like this, please dont ignore this thread

[Katie-Jade]

ive posted similar things to this before but basically im going out of my mind.

i am extremely insecure about myself, the only way i am ever "okay" is if i have a boyfriend. i have safety issues, and im paranoid im going to be attacked. theres no father figure in my life so ive never felt protected. which is what i crave, a boyfriend to look afta me.

im getting counselling but it doesnt seem to be changing anything. ive fallen out with half my family (and no its not gnna be fixed) i dont get on too well with the family i live with, to the point where i dont wna live here ne more but i have nowhere else to go.

the city i live in is laced with so many bad memories, i just wna get out of this city, i wana run and keep running til im soo far away :/

if anyone can help me feel better, im begging Teen Help to help me becuz im not going to b able to cope forever

[haveXhope]

I feel the same exact way. I am terribly insecure with myself, my body, my personality. I'm always looking for a guy to protect me. I was raped on multiple accounts so that explains my paranoia. I am scared to death to be alone. Counseling will help in time, I've been going, and I seem to be alright for the time being. Except, my boyfriend just broke up with me not too long ago. Which, sucks. I've lived in the same city for many many years, and this is where all my memories have taken place. It's very hard to get through, I know. But it IS possible. You just have to trust yourself and your counselor.

Point is, you're not alone. There are plenty of people on TeenHelp to talk to, like me :-) I'll always be around if you need to talk, PM me.

Take care, & God bless.
♥

[Silver Halide]

Paranoia and anxiety are hard to shake off by yourself. I would definitely look into seeing a counselor. They should be able to help you improve your quality of life.

I can understand getting out of a town. We intrinsically store our emotions with our memories. Memories of a location could be completely void of actual triggering events but they will come with a strong affective link to other events that occurred near there. The general whole of a location can be taken over by the negativity of small events. That happened with me. I lived in the same small town for 19 years.

How much longer do you have until you graduate? University is a good way to experience a new location and to start fresh. In your case I could see it being very positive.

Lastly, have you considered taking martial arts classes? They are widely available these days. They generally teach a mixture of calming meditation, a good moral foundation, and to learn to protect yourself and others. It might help you overcome your fears and it can make you a stronger person. You don't need to be strong or fast to take such classes either. When I was being bullied as a young child I took them and it really helped me. I didn't even have to use them.

[Katie-Jade]

its two years yet before im off to university. and with my personal safety i did tae kwon do (korean martial arts) for a year or so, but i cudnt afford to carry it on so i had to give it up. also on two occasions, i was followed by men and only just managed to get away both times. im seeing a counsellor at the moment im just scared that if it doesnt help then when our sessions run out im gnna be left the same insecure person that i am :/