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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy Afraid I'm Going to Lose It - January 16th 2011, 05:39 AM

This thread has been labeled as non-PG13 by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for younger users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

All right, forst off, I'm going to type some useless gyberish: aGHiznujk'xhAkbuzckzkhhgojfk

Now that that is done. I'm going to go on with my story.

I have GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) but no one in my family is doing a thing.
My counselor finally got concerned and had to have a talk with my mom. The "talk" must have been bad because neither of them will say a word about it to me. My counselor even cancelled on the trip to the therapist she told me I had to take, and my mom won't take me either, so basically, nothing is going to happen.
You might be thinking "That's such a lie! No way would someone do that!" But I'm 100% telling the truth (unfortunately). My mom refuses to acknowledge the fact that something is wrong with me, and refuses to let me go to a doctor to get something for my panic attacks. I don't know what to do. I've lasted 4 days without having a breakdown or panic attack, when the time comes, it'll be ugly.
Another thing, people know I have problems - my teacher could keep her mouth shut and asked me if I was with the counselor when I wasn't in class one day! IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLASS. I almost got up and punched her in the face. But instead I looked down and prayed that no one heard her.
I seriously will lose it soon. I don't know what to do. These past four days have been hell, my mom is disappointed in me and yelled at me for 2 hours when she found out I'd been seeing a counselor behind her back, my counselor is acting weird. My mom doesn't even want me to SEE my counselor. Everything is happening so fast. I can't take or stand it! Someone might as well just push me off a cliff, steal my stuff, banish my soul, bring me back to life, torture me, then kill me again.
I know that this all sounds bad (that's why I marked it Non-PG13?) but it all hurts so much. I don't know what to do. With my luck I'll crash and burn in class. Or in a public place. I don't know what to do.
Please help, or give me a pep-talk. Thank you for reading this though.


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Re: Afraid I'm Going to Lose It - January 17th 2011, 12:03 AM

Why do you think your mom doesn't want you seeing a counselour????


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Re: Afraid I'm Going to Lose It - January 17th 2011, 01:36 AM

I'm not sure what to say, but I want to try to help. Hopefully this might make some sense.
I didn't think it's that your mom doesn't want to get you help, it might be that she doesn't want to admit to herself that you need any. Think of it this way, when you see a newborn they're perfect, nothing is wrong with them and the world is full of possibilities. Them they start growing up and they're perfect little child starts dealing with real life problems. At first a kiss there and a hug here fixes everything but the it gets more and more complicated. Eventually your perfect little child is dealing with things you've never heard of and the "If we ignore it it will go away" or "mother knows best" sort of scenarios kick in.
Think about it, remember the panic and anxiety of first going to the doctor or counselor for this? Or the first time you told anybody at all? Imagine the panic and anxiety of first admitting that your perfect child isn't really prefect but really has problems too. And the anxiety of a counselor or therapist telling you that your child has an extra problem to deal with compared to most other kids. To me that seems like the scariest thing in the world! I mean, maybe I'm thinking about it all wrong I don't even have a kid, but I imagine that's what most parents go through...
Maybe your mom just needs help helping you?


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Re: Afraid I'm Going to Lose It - January 20th 2011, 10:46 PM

Thanks guys. The advice really helped. However, I did leave something out. I had a talk with my counselor the other day, and it wasn't really all that bad. But right now, my counselor doesn't want to tell my mother anything unless she has to. Which is good because I don't want my mother to learn anything more, but I don't know if that's the right thing. She is my mom, but she was down-right cold to my counselor. She kept me from school the day I was supposed to meet a therapist - key word SUPPOSED - so it's just going to be me and my counselor until things work themselves out. I'm just as confused as before, but I'm trying to not let it get to me (NOT working out well) but my counselor says that she'll wait ANOTHER month until she decides what to do.
I DID snap, but not that badly, I was alone in my room. So nothing happened that was embarrassing or scary.


I will forgive, but I'll never forget.
Love is something earned, not gifted.
The Fallen Angel's cry for their beloved.
~ Katie
   
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Re: Afraid I'm Going to Lose It - January 25th 2011, 07:49 AM

You might want to consider sitting down and actually telling your mom face to face this is what you need to feel better, and get on with life. I myself know some adults who are against the idea of seeing therapists and councilors too but I believe if you were serious enough, you could get the facts through their head.


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Veni, Vidi, Vici: I came, I saw, I conquered -Julius Caesar
   
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