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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Do I Have BPD? - March 17th 2011, 07:26 AM

I have a long distance boyfriend right now and I do things to push him away because I am scared to let him too close even though he is an amazing guy. I have cut before and use pain as a way of escaping the real world. I keep everyone I know at arms length so I don't get to close to anyone. I feel so alone and empty. I will get upset or sad randomly even though there is no reason for me to feel like that. I put myself down all the time and call myself names and tear my self esteem down to nothing. I hide my pain behind a smile that I wear everyday so people don't ask questions about why something is wrong. I have become so good at suppressing feelings I don't even know what I am thinking or truly feeling anymore. I feel so lost right now and I don't know where to turn....

I don't know how to even get tested for a mental disorder and if anyone could let me know that would be helpful
   
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Re: Do I Have BPD? - March 17th 2011, 11:50 AM

You have to speak with a professional. Go talk to a school counselor. I can understand why you want to keep your cutting a secret. You are ashamed to let anyone else know about it. Even people who you are very close with, you won't even tell. Your boyfriend for example. If you feel that you have this disorder, you need to speak with someone. They will then be able to tell you if you have it. Have you thought about quitting? I know you say cutting is your ticket out, but it isn't. As you can see, cutting is causing you all of these problems. We can help you overcome cutting. I don't want you to hurt yourself, and I don't want you picking up blades to solve your problems. If you still want to talk about it, you can. We are here to help.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do I Have BPD? - March 17th 2011, 12:00 PM

The easiest way to do it is to go to your regular doctor and tell them what's going on. They'll either refer you to a mental health profesional or try to diagnose you themself. If you try to diagnose you then take whatever they say with a grain of salt and ask to be refered for a 2nd opinion. A lot of general physicians think they know enough to diagnose you on their own but chances are they don't.
The diagnosis process basically involves being asked a number of questions over a few sessions with a psychiatrist or psychologist. If they diagnose you first session after a few questions I would ask for a second opinion, it should take longer than that.
The main form of treatment you could expect for bpd is dbt therapy. This basically involves some 1 on 1 with your psychologist to learn some skills to help you cope with life better. Then there's some group therapy which is led by a trained profesional but all the people in it have bpd. I'm not quite sure what the group therapy is about because I never went (most people with bpd are girls and I'm a guy with bipolar. They thought dbt might help a bit with me but it'd be too intimidating to have a guy without bpd listening in on their group).
I hope things work out.


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do I Have BPD? - March 17th 2011, 07:24 PM

I don't cut as much anymore but I do occasionally but it was no where as bad as it was about a year or two ago. I know it isn't the right way to escape but it works wonderfully. People in my life do know about it but my boyfriend is the only one I truly talk to because other people just don't seem to understand it at all. They see it as something that I just need to stop and nothing more, but that is how I used to survive. It is a comfort knowing I can turn back to it when I have the need to.

I have tried going to therapy for my cutting, well actually my parents forced to me to go because they were worried but I honestly didn't feel like it helped too much. Maybe it is because I didn't like the counselor that I had. Part of me doesn't see the benefit of going through the whole process to be diagnosed if I know that I won't want to deal with a counselor.
   
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Re: Do I Have BPD? - March 19th 2011, 06:44 AM

Whether you like it or not, you'll have to deal with psychiatrists. You'll need a diagnosis, and if you DO happen to have BPD, you'll need to see a therapist regularly.

I can't tell you whether you do or not. On the one hand, it sounds like you have a couple symptoms, but those are also symptoms that someone who is just very insecure may have. So nothing you've said is definitive in one way or the other.

I suggest you see a professional about this, if you're really concerned.


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Re: Do I Have BPD? - March 19th 2011, 09:27 AM

It's hard to usually diagnose anyone with a mental illness because the diagnostic criteria is very ambiguous, arbitrary and takes clinical experience to generate a working understanding of the disorders. The problem is also symptoms aren't the diagnostic criteria. You could have all the symptoms for ADHD yet not be diagnosed with it. Likewise, you could have all the symptoms for schizophrenia yet not meet the diagnostic criteria.

If you have BPD or another mental disorder, you'll often need medications and/or psychotherapy. Generally I'd attempt to there's a chance you may have [name of disorders] in my amateur opinion but with what you have said, you might as well open the DSM-IV-TR which has about 300 mental illnesses, find a random page and your symptoms have a chance at meeting them. It'd be shorter to say what it may not be but that still leaves over 280 or so left.

Of course this is all assuming the symptoms are not due to a neurological disorder or other body disorder, or medication side-effect. For example, Lesch-Nyhan Syndrome is a genetic disorder with self-mutilation, emotional issues, could result in social withdrawl, etc... . However, there are other distinguishing factors which you may have, as well as a somewhat clear timeline of when symptoms emerge.


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Re: Do I Have BPD? - March 19th 2011, 10:27 AM

Julz is right, it's really hard to diagnose if you have BPD or not. You need to consult an expert in these situations.

I don't think it's right for me to say or give you a diagnosis because I'm not a licensed practitioner or psychology or psychiatry. If I did, that would be wrong. So, if you really need the question answered, you should see a professional.

Take care!
If you need to talk about it though, I'm available, pm/vm me anytime. <3


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