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Theres gotta be more to it... - March 22nd 2011, 04:04 AM

Basically I hate myself. Like everything about me. And when I talked to my therapist I told her I have a low self esteem and she says I'm a minimizer (i think nothing of my accomplishments) so she thinks that just by writing down even the most simple "accomplishments" I make each week will fix this, but I dont think that will help. I just dont know if there even could be something more or if its just low self esteem....idk im just all sorts of confused in my head :/
   
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Re: Theres gotta be more to it... - March 22nd 2011, 05:10 AM

I think what has to be done and probably what your therapist will/wants to do is figure out why you have don't value your accomplishments. By getting the list out, it's meant to have you write down everything so you can do some self-help as well as so your therapist can get an insight into a) what you consider to be an accomplishment and b) notice any similarities. Eventually, the idea may be to show you what your wrote and have you say why you don't value each one. I assume it's some form of cognitive-behavioural therapy, so your therapist will challenge your views by questioning and echoing what you say. Purpose isn't to change your views immediately but to get you to start questioning yourself so you're open to change, then to sway the decision toward valuing your accomplishments.

Your therapist will also judge the amount of things you write down, if you put a few, it means you may have a definition of accomplishment far above what is real so it's hard to attain. If you write down a lot, it means you have probably a normal definition but don't consider them significant or important. Your therapist may also see if the accomplishments you write down have many sub-accomplishments.

The overall goal would be to have you put these changed views into practice and break the main goal into sub-goals. Once the sub-goals are achieved, reward yourself.

My best analogy is wanting to build a 60-story hotel as your overall goal and you're the contractor. The goal is immense, so to make it simple, you build each floor at a time. Once each is built, you congradulate yourself and the crew. Once the final floor is reached and all gadgets are installed, you have your largest reward. Point is, the contractor is you while the crew are your thoughts and drive. You want to get as many crew as possible using the best equipment. In other words, you get large amount of focus and ambition by rewarding yourself and recognizing that each time you look down from the floor to the bottom, it's an accomplishment. It's an accomplishment to look down from the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 10th, 20th, 30th and eventually from the roof.

Currently though, you look down from the 30th and see nothing amazing about it, it seems lame. You look down from the roof and still, same reaction. You know it's a feat but don't put value into it. I may be wrong on this as I'm merely speculating from a 3-lined, 4-sentenced post.

The most important thing though is you need to have some thinking that it will have some positive effect. It doesn't have to be right now but it's what your therapist is relying on, it's what all forms of psychotherapy rely on. Part of the therapist's job is to get you some of that positivity but eventually, you're going to have to take it, otherwise it's all hitting a brick wall and bouncing off.


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)

Last edited by OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!; March 22nd 2011 at 05:15 AM.
   
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Re: Theres gotta be more to it... - March 23rd 2011, 03:12 AM

thank you for your feedback. theres a few things i want to respond to. one, you said my therapist might want to judge how many things i put down, but she told me to put down three a day, so i feel like shes telling me i need to find three good things i did, even though i sometimes find this difficult. when u said u werent sure if u were understanding me correctly, id just like to you say youve got it right haha. i guess that doing this will help but i just may not think so yet. idk i might just have issues with the therapist, theres some things i dont think are working but since shes my first therapist i really dont know what should be happening
   
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Re: Theres gotta be more to it... - March 23rd 2011, 09:26 AM

I had to do that too, it didn't really help me all that much, but I've found that if I write a list of things I need to get done and check it off as I go along, it works better for me (it also helps my anxiety). Definately give it a go though.

If there's things that you don't think are working, you should talk to her about it, she's there to help you after all.
Good luck
   
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