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chell-see Offline
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Name: chelsea
Gender: Female
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Join Date: March 15th 2011

what next? - April 5th 2011, 05:55 PM

so i met with my phsycologist today. i have been working with her for a while now,,,,
anyway, today she said that she thinks iv reached a turning poit. i have beeen really low, and now im slowly getting bettter.
im pleased that shes noticed a difference, and the voices seem to be fading, and im cutting less often, so im feeling much bettter about myself.
but then someone made a tiny insulting comment, and it wasnt even that bad,. but suddenly i felt like shit again. iv come home and im really having to resist cutting.
i feel so crap, and its like just that one comment has reversed all the progress iv beeen making.im so angry at that guy, i want to rip his throat out.
im thinknig though, what if i have gone right back, and what if i dont ever get better again? or what if i do, but then everything reverses again as soon as someone makes a rude comment at me? what if im never able to be normal? i feel so pathetic for letting that comment get to me, and i feel stupid + weak.. i hate it. i hate everything.
why, just when im beginning to improve, do things always fuck up?

I did not loose my mind,
It was mine to give away.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
*Jen* Offline
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Re: what next? - April 5th 2011, 08:36 PM

Hey Chelsea,

I think it is great you are getting support off a psychologist and they are able to see some improvements in you. You have to remember though it will take time and it is a journey that you will have knock downs a long the way. But you can pick yourself back up again.

The person that has been horrible to you is not worth it at all. You are worth it though and don't deserve to be hurt by yourself. You deserve much better than that and this person that has said nasty things may be just trying to hurt you or may feel bad about themselves. You are definitely not stupid and weak though. When people say hurtful things it is really hard to just brush them off and not let them get to you. I remember a few months ago someone said some pretty horrible things to me and I let it hurt me and got really upset about it. But looking back I now realise that they were not worth my tears or hurt. It can be hard though to see that when you are feeling so down. You should speak to your psychologist about this because I am sure they will be able to suggest ways to deal with it.

Things can get better for you! This is only a minor set back and you will get back on track again. Don't let this horrible person make you feel bad because you deserve to feel happy. You can do this so keep on taking little steps.

Stay strong.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Nomophobia Offline
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Re: what next? - April 5th 2011, 08:40 PM

I'm really glad things are looking up for you hun, you deserve it.

Don't be worried about the minor setback, its only a little jolt in the road to recovery, and there will be more but each jolt you face, you will overcome. Speak to your psychologist and she will help you with it. Each jolt makes you stronger and you can learn from it.

Keep going <3

"Friends are like stars; you don't always see them but you know they are always there"

"It gives me hope. I love you so much. You give me a reason to breathe. Its something for me to not kill myself for" >>> means so much :')

Paramore! <3
Pm me anytime, I like to help!
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