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CatherineGR Offline
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Self-confidence - June 27th 2011, 08:17 PM

Hello everyone, I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section.

I just wanted to ask something. For a few years I've been kind of overweight and there are stretch marks all the inside of the top of my arms, all over my legs (inner and outter thighs), behind my knees and they have started showing on the bottom of my abdomen.

I've been extremely self-concious about them, because I hate them and unfortunately, hate myself because of my weight. I've been really sad about it, and even tried to be anorexic for a while, but not succesfully.

So, I want to know; will these marks make everyone be disgusted by me and what can I do to feel better and have the motivation to lose weight?

(By the way, I'm 15, 5' 3" and about XXX pounds...I hate myself for this)

Last edited by *Jen*; June 29th 2011 at 10:34 AM. Reason: Please don't post weight numbers
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Re: Self-confidence - June 27th 2011, 09:34 PM

Hey Catherine,

I have good and bad news for you. The good news is that there is a way to deal with your self-confidence without having to do any physical thing to make you feel better. The bad news is that the concept is hard to apply. You see, self-confidence is...what I'd like to call an "internal issue." The bottom line is that I believe there is a correlation between self-confidence and your self-image. Having a poor self-image affects your self-confidence because you don't see yourself in a positive manner. In other words, the external issues that you are dealing with because you "hate" them(your weight & your stretch marks) are causing you to hate yourself. But it doesn't have to be that way. In fact, instead of being controlled by your hatred towards your imperfection, you can turn against your imperfection and use that as a motivation to get rid of those imperfections, or you can embrace them. In other words, your external issues don't have to affect your internal issues. You can decide, right now, that you don't want to live like a bump on the log and being upset about your imperfections, but you can decide to do something about it. When you're ready to take on the challenge, you will know when you're ready to dedicate yourself. Every issue you deal with starts from your brain; you don't have enough motivation because your mind doesn't completely see a reason for changing. But if you start small by going for long walks, working out, choosing to eat healthier foods on certain meals, your mind will get used to these changes and say "you know what? This isn't actually half bad. So I wanna start doing more of it." Small things eventually add up until the point where it can make a big difference...but the sooner you realize that it starts with your mind, the sooner you'll start attacking the issue. Because anyone could tell you different things about how to acquire motivation, but your self-confidence can only be dealt with by YOU and you alone (that's why it's called SELF-confidence). You need to sit down and think of something that you're willing to start doing without giving up, and you must go in with enough motivation to get you going (because when you start working towards goals, you'll acquire more motivation when you start feeling good about what you're doing). So how you can feel better is embracing who you are and considering your imperfections as something that you need to improve on.

At least, that's how I saw it when I didn't have any self-confidence. I haven't changed much physically, but I feel better about myself because of that mentality. Unless you truly know you're ready to make a commitment, then don't stress about it.
   
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Re: Self-confidence - June 28th 2011, 08:34 AM

Thank you for replying Brandon. This post really gave me food for thought, and I hope that the fact that I decided to start writing down what I eat will give me enough motivation to keep going. Thank you. <3
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