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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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murder wishes - June 29th 2011, 07:50 PM

Hi guys, just wanted to post something about this, its been worrying me for a while.

I have a real big thing for killing people, so far I've been writing down a list of people that I want to kill and what I'd do to them.

Earlier in class my ex (ethan) was being really annoying and burping at people, which makes me angry coz he called me dumb. So i screamed at him "Im gonna push that many fuckin pens through your fat fuckin head, its gonna kill your lil' baby children!"... he just sank into his chair, and he mutterd "dumb bitch" so I got a `rat tailed' comb out of my bag and stabbed his head with it, its didnt go deep it just cut a bit. I didnt try to kill him, i just wanted him to know what I can do.

The list gets bigger every day. It includes people from school, teachers, family, family of friends ect.

Im scared because I've been real violent lately...
   
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Re: murder wishes - June 30th 2011, 06:04 PM

Today in school I hit someone (Anthony), threw a book at someone else (ethan) and screamed at them both.

I was writing down what I want to do to them (murder and torture) but my drama teacher (Liz) took it off me and read it, she told my main teachers about it and they are watching me for schitzophrenia and stuff...

I also got put on violent report

HELP ME!
   
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Re: murder wishes - June 30th 2011, 07:29 PM

Why would they be watching you for schizophrenia? That doesn't really make sense, does your school not have a counselor? If it does I think a good first step would be talking to them.


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Re: murder wishes - June 30th 2011, 08:11 PM

We have a self esteem counceller... i dont really know what that is tho :S
   
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Re: murder wishes - June 30th 2011, 08:13 PM

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Originally Posted by James Wilson View Post
Why would they be watching you for schizophrenia?
Becuase we watch out in our school for symtoms of things like that, if the teachers think you are schizzo or whatever they get a doctor to see you.
   
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Re: murder wishes - June 30th 2011, 10:55 PM

Nothing you've mentioned has anything to do with schizophrenia though. Why don't you talk to your doctor or the school counselor about what you're feeling. Even if they don't have the answers theyl be able to point you in the right direction.


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Re: murder wishes - July 1st 2011, 03:25 AM

The only reason I can see for why your teachers would suspect you of schizophrenia is they are completely inept and take the literal meaning of schizophrenia as "split mind" or "split person". Obviously that is not what the disorder actually is but that is what the name means. Alternatively, they're relying on stereotypical views that people with schizophrenia are inherently dangerous and have unpredictable behaviour, again, something that is not completely true. If your counselor agrees with the teachers, he/she is also inept.

If I were the doctor evaluating you, one of the first things I would think of is anger management therapy as well as trying to figure out why you are so angry. The explanation may involve a psychiatric disorder, such as intermittent explosive disorder (once other disorders such as borderline personality disorder, ADHD and others are ruled out). I would also consider having you admitted depending on the severity of your behaviour.

I'm sure you're already aware of this but if you can, remember that if you hit a person in anger, the person may be reluctant to defend themselves. However, if you hit a person who is well-versed in martial arts and willing to use their knowledge, you could end up in a world of pain. At the dojo I train at, I help teach self-defense (disarming armed opponents as well as defending against unarmed opponents) and when the techniques are performed full-force, chances are you'll have some broken bone(s), deep bruising and possibly knocked out. I'm not trying to make you scared, I'm just letting you know that if you can, have some self-control.


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Re: murder wishes - July 1st 2011, 02:30 PM

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Originally Posted by The Man And XX Master View Post
"split mind" or "split person".
I am a 'spilt person', my friend Elli tells me I am because I am okay with someone one minute and the next I am threatening them with a protractor and stuff...

Also because I have attempted suicide can be a form of schitzophrenia.
Another reason is because I've been associated with drugs, my bf does weed and he plays with my mind a little. (still love him to pieces, mind you)
   
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Re: murder wishes - July 1st 2011, 04:34 PM

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Originally Posted by BethEmoGirl View Post
I am a 'spilt person', my friend Elli tells me I am because I am okay with someone one minute and the next I am threatening them with a protractor and stuff...

Also because I have attempted suicide can be a form of schitzophrenia.
Another reason is because I've been associated with drugs, my bf does weed and he plays with my mind a little. (still love him to pieces, mind you)
All of that is so general and vague that I fail to see how anyone thought "oh she might have schizophrenithat!" from that.

Suicide can be part of so many illnesses, and your first paragraph isn't really characteristic of schizophrenia at all.

Drugs are also associated with so many illnesses, it would be impossible to pinpoint any illness or lack of illness from just that. Whoever suggested schizophrenia to you has no idea what they're talking about.


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Re: murder wishes - July 1st 2011, 05:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Wilson View Post
All of that is so general and vague that I fail to see how anyone thought "oh she might have schizophrenithat!" from that.

Suicide can be part of so many illnesses, and your first paragraph isn't really characteristic of schizophrenia at all.

Drugs are also associated with so many illnesses, it would be impossible to pinpoint any illness or lack of illness from just that. Whoever suggested schizophrenia to you has no idea what they're talking about.
This.

I don't even get split personality from that. Being okay with someone one moment and angry at them the next... I'm more inclined to go with The Man And XX Master and say it has more to do with anger issues than anything. Even in your OP, your reaction, however violent, was triggered by something that would have gotten on anyone's nerves; the difference was in how you dealt with it, and that's more characteristic of issues dealing with anger than, in my opinion, anything else.

Also, I've attempted suicide and been on suicide watch. I'm not Schizophrenic. I don't see how anyone gets Schizophrenia from suicide and anger. Your teachers should not be making claims like that at all, being teachers (though I know from personal experience that some teachers love to play doctor/psychologist), and if their doctors agree based on that and that alone, especially seeing as you're 12... Then I advise getting a second opinion based on that alone.

And also, there's no category or stereotype for people who've done drugs. As said in what I quoted, drugs can be associated with many illnesses, but if you're talking weed... Eh, it's a very, very common drug, and again, it's a sign of incompetence and complete ignorance if they think an association with weed, of all drugs, means you're Schizophrenic.

See a real doctor, not someone with Google bought credentials, because it honestly does not sound as if your doctor (or teachers) are even reading Google symptoms right. =/


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Re: murder wishes - July 1st 2011, 08:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BethEmoGirl View Post
Today in school I hit someone (Anthony), threw a book at someone else (ethan) and screamed at them both.

I was writing down what I want to do to them (murder and torture) but my drama teacher (Liz) took it off me and read it, she told my main teachers about it and they are watching me for schitzophrenia and stuff...

I also got put on violent report

HELP ME!
.....Why would they be watching you for schizo....? Surely schizo would be the opposite. It would be having anger and hate INTERNALLY but going off, withdrawing yourself and never speak to the human race again type thing and you'd just live in an alternate fantasy world while being incrdibly misanthropic. Because that's what I've been going through but let me ask you; all the stuff I just said. Have you been through any of that BEFORE you got this violent?
   
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Re: murder wishes - July 3rd 2011, 06:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BethEmoGirl View Post
I am a 'spilt person', my friend Elli tells me I am because I am okay with someone one minute and the next I am threatening them with a protractor and stuff...
I mentioned "split person" because it is the meaning of the word schizophrenia even though it has nothing to do with the actual diagnostic criteria. Whatever your friend Elli is saying is nonsense as it has nothing to do with schizophrenia.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BethEmoGirl View Post
Also because I have attempted suicide can be a form of schitzophrenia.
Nope. There are forms of schizophrenia but suicidal is not one of them. It can be a symptom, however, I'd say at least 3/4 of the current psychiatric disorders can have suicide as a symptom. It in no way suggests schizophrenia and because you say it does, I'm inclined to believe you know nothing about schizophrenia yet are convinced you have it due to inept school staff and friends who know nothing about psychiatric disorders.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BethEmoGirl View Post
Another reason is because I've been associated with drugs, my bf does weed and he plays with my mind a little. (still love him to pieces, mind you)
Being associated with drugs doesn't mean you have schizophrenia. It can (there's a large debate about this) increase the likelihood of having schizophrenia in the form of drug-induced schizophrenia, although that only occurs after years of drug use (marijuana is likely out of the question for this). Your boyfriend playing with your mind is completely irrelevant to schizophrenia. Again, when you suggest these things, it indicates you're convinced you have schizophrenia when you don't know what it even is.


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Re: murder wishes - July 3rd 2011, 09:35 AM

Are you SURE that you're not just a poser? Because if you are then I find it HIGHLY offensive. Especially since my half brother has it and it could be passed down from my dad's side of the family. (EVERYONE on his side has a disorder of some sort. Depression, Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Dyslexia, Autism, just to name a few, my half sister is the only one that got away without one.) I could POSSIBLY have one of those but not even I know. So please don't pose because it's stuff like THAT which make me the way I am. If you read my "Hating, shouting at the world" thingy. I. HATE. POSERS.
   
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Re: murder wishes - July 4th 2011, 07:23 PM

...why would i be a poser about things that i write?
im not a poser... also i think darkgothicrose had made a thread bouts me?
   
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Re: murder wishes - July 7th 2011, 07:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelOfTheFallen View Post
Are you SURE that you're not just a poser? Because if you are then I find it HIGHLY offensive. Especially since my half brother has it and it could be passed down from my dad's side of the family. (EVERYONE on his side has a disorder of some sort. Depression, Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Dyslexia, Autism, just to name a few, my half sister is the only one that got away without one.) I could POSSIBLY have one of those but not even I know. So please don't pose because it's stuff like THAT which make me the way I am. If you read my "Hating, shouting at the world" thingy. I. HATE. POSERS.
Posers? What are you, auditioning for a 50 cent film clip?

I hate people.


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~Arundhati Roy
   
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Re: murder wishes - July 7th 2011, 09:18 AM

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Originally Posted by Marguerite View Post
Posers? What are you, auditioning for a 50 cent film clip?

I hate people.
I concur. I lol'd hard (inappropriate, but I did), but I completely agree.

Anyway.

Are you sure you're just not stressing over something, and dealing with it by taking it out on other people? Sure, I mean it's a little excessive - but I'm pretty sure a lot of people feel like grotesquely killing someone every once and a while.

Especially when they're under a lot of pressure, or have been bottling things up.

As a side comment: Schizophrenia? How is that even remotely connected? Like... at all? Silly teachers.
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