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travisty123 Offline
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Halp? - July 8th 2011, 08:27 AM

Hey, I have lots of thing wrong with me.

I have OCD, GAD, Sociopathy, and constant stress.

My ocd started a few years back, probably when I was young, but only becoming apparent when i was about 12. over the past few years, however, it has transgressed into something else entirely. I cut myself just to taste my blood, I watch gore and snuff for kicks (3guys1hammer anyone ) and what scares me is how hungry it makes me. I feel the need to kill, to cut, to harm people around me. I feel no pity for any of them. The only thing stopping me is 1. I wouldnt know how to dispose of the body and 2. it would be harmful to my family. Because of my aforementioned mental disorders, I cannot reach out for help, even though i want it. Don't get me wrong, i really want to kill, i just know I'm a monster. I wear a mask all day, pretending to be happy, but the truth is, I will die alone.
I will die a monster.
   
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Re: Halp? - July 8th 2011, 08:48 AM

I don't think it's all that out of the ordinary to want to look up gore/snuff vids, I am guilty of doing it now and then just because curiosity makes me want to see what the fuss is about. But I wouldn't go around saying the rest of these things unless you are VERY serious, in which case if you don't get help for this, some one should probably report you because this is clearly a problem that needs immediate attention, before something serious happens.

Don't mean to be a jerk or anything, by the way, I just think this is a serious subject, and the options here are pretty obvious. Cases like these need to be taken utmost seriously.


Self pity will not rescue you.
Sometimes we have to save our own lives,
not because no one else cares, but because no one else can.

Life for you has been less than kind
So take a number, stand in line
We've all been sorry, we've all been hurt
But how we survive is what makes us who we are.

Dreamed up the maps, give me the charcoal and the paper
We invent paths they cannot see, and they're too scared to walk


Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
   
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Re: Halp? - July 9th 2011, 02:11 AM

If you are feeling that in danger of harming others, you should seek professional help.

Like you said - you don't want to hurt your family, do you?

It also sounds like you're deep in depression too. Everyone enjoys cheap thrills (Snuff films are fabulous, btw), but you have to draw the line between reality and real life.
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Re: Halp? - July 9th 2011, 02:31 AM

Gore and snuff films are like a good action or horror movie in that it makes you vigilant and brings a new heart-racing experience. These films and movies put reality on pause so these experiences can be fully felt. It's one of the reasons why people watch such films as 2 girls 1 cup and 1 guy 1 cup. Many don't like the content at all but they watch it for a thrill that's beyond reality. Furthermore, it allows these experiences to be recollected whilst in reality, sort of like an adrenaline rush.

I'm not sure why you say you have sociopathy, watching snuff films doesn't indicate that in any way. Hell, sociopathy isn't a diagnosis, it's a vague term for any bunch of symptoms and syndromes. Don't confuse it with psychopathy as the two are very different things. I've done a few research papers on psychopathy so I could go on for a while babbling about it and case reports but I'll spare you the boredom.

If I were you, I'd get treatment for everything you mentioned except the "sociopathy". Chances are the blood-thirsty cravings will cease once the other issues are treated or at the very least, they will decrease. If you do mention it to a psychiatrist, you're going to have your case red-flagged and bounced around the system because many psychiatrists don't want to deal with it if it's genuine. You'll be referred to a specialist, probably a forensic psychologist or forensic psychiatrist. Unfortunately, these people don't work in your everyday hospital or out-patient building, so your family would have a clue something is askew. You'll probably be given self-report questionnaires to fill out because your case would be considered serious and the data may be used in research (you would be anonymous in the studies and the doctors would need your permission first).


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)
   
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