Dealing With Mums Narcissistic Personality Disorder

[SpaceSailor]

I haven't spoken to my mum in 2 years. She has been diagnosed by two psychs as having a 'Narcissistic Personality Disorder'. She refuses to believe them or get any help.

It's taken me a long time to accept that this is just who my mum is, and I can't make her get help... but I miss her, alot. We stopped contact between us because things just became too emotional, but now I am thinking of catching up for coffee. I don't plan on mentioning our past or her disorder, but I think it would be good for me to be able to see my mum.

Any tips on how to deal with people with this disorder?

[PSY]

You do the best you can, and when her behavior begins to have a negative affect on you, you find the strength to leave her house/the cafe. Unfortunately, there isn't much else you CAN do, if your mom isn't willing to seek help. There are plenty of websites that talk about how you can "disarm" someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder; however, if you're just meeting with her for a few hours, I wouldn't bother. The "disarming" process takes months, sometimes even years, and it's most effective when reinforced with therapy (which your mom isn't interested in).

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

NPD is like anti-social personality disorder in that psychotherapy is extremely difficult, sometimes impossible. If your mother is willing to seek therapy, then she has a chance, otherwise psychotherapy won't happen. Medications can still help, although they cannot have her behaviour completely change. Depending which resources you read, certain researchers use different typologies of NPD. I'm not sure which is used more often by experts, although the one I prefer to use is Bruce Stevens' "Nine-Headed Hydra" metaphor, which has 9 typologies. http://hackvan.com/etext/psychology/narcissism--a-nine-headed-hydra.htm. Different typologies may need different forms of psychotherapy.

HOWEVER, if you're just meeting up for coffee and to catch up on life, you don't need to acknowledge her NPD diagnosis or whatever else. You don't even need to argue with her, you can simply walk out.

[SpaceSailor]

yeah. Ive spent enough energy trying o get her to just see a psychiatrist and change her and im over it. I just wanna see my mum.