I'm so confused.

[JustAnotherTHer]

Recently I spoke to a doctor because I've been pretty suicidal and self harming a lot and either eating loads or eating nothing and exercising. She gave me a sheet of paper with questions I had to fill out with things like "All of the time," "Most of the time," "Some of the time," and "Never" and she added my score up to be 51 and told me I was barely hitting the category for being mildly depressed.
Maybe I am just being stupid, but I've been feeling this way for years and if this is just "barely hitting mild" then I don't even want to think about what anything higher might be.
But since she didn't really go through it with me, I googled it. And I've just done 5 different tests online for it where you fill out the same things I did when the doctor gave me the paper and they've all said I'm severely depressed. I know you shouldn't really trust online things, but am I just being paranoid? I'm really confused and I don't know if it's just because I'm having a bad night emotionally where all I can think about is pills or blades or if I'm just stupid. I don't know.
Can you help?

[LeapOfFayth]

I don't really think a score on a test can determine if someone is mildly or severely depressed because its not that simple. Those tests are just based on diagnostic criteria but there's just so much that varies from person to person how can you make a unified standardized test? Also, what kind of a doctor let's a sheet of paper do the work for them? Were you seeing a psychiatrist, if not I would ask to see one. If you were I would ask for a new one!

In my opinion if you're honestly constantly suicidal for more than, I'm going to say a week, then something is wrong. Maybe you need to talk to someone in a formal setting like therapy or informal like with a parent or mentor. Or maybe you need medication? Either way that's not something that as a doctor you can throw a test at and be like "oh there's nothing wrong with you".
sorry, but what your doctor did sounds like total fudge nuggets to me. Tests like that online or not need to be taken with a spoonful of salt. Why would a doctor even give that to you?

Sorry, I'm just fuming at this. I hope you manage to find a second opinion.

[Dr.Bobby]

Originally Posted by Fricky Ricky

I don't really think a score on a test can determine if someone is mildly or severely depressed because its not that simple. Those tests are just based on diagnostic criteria but there's just so much that varies from person to person how can you make a unified standardized test? Also, what kind of a doctor let's a sheet of paper do the work for them? Were you seeing a psychiatrist, if not I would ask to see one. If you were I would ask for a new one!

In my opinion if you're honestly constantly suicidal for more than, I'm going to say a week, then something is wrong. Maybe you need to talk to someone in a formal setting like therapy or informal like with a parent or mentor. Or maybe you need medication? Either way that's not something that as a doctor you can throw a test at and be like "oh there's nothing wrong with you".
sorry, but what your doctor did sounds like total fudge nuggets to me. Tests like that online or not need to be taken with a spoonful of salt. Why would a doctor even give that to you?

Sorry, I'm just fuming at this. I hope you manage to find a second opinion.

^ This. Nice.

You know yourself much better than the results of some anonymous paper and pencil survey, and if you feel depressed, then you are.

The real issue is this therapists ability to recognize this as well. Sometimes, therapists initially give these things as a screen for really serious issues that require immediate hospitalization, rather than actually using them as deeper indicators of the 'Real' issues.. So, you have two choices: Find another therapist (if you can), or discuss with her how you feel and what you want from her (to recognize and understand you and if she doesn't to ask you and you'll tell her!), and base your next move here on her response.

Perhaps the most optimistic thing I can say here (other than huzzahs for going to therapy!) is that you both need to get to know each other, and maybe this is her way of breaking the ice.

[Le bonheur*]

Hi Gracie, welcome to TeenHelp. Firstly, I am so glad you went to a professional about your actions. I know how hard that must have been, but I am so proud that you did. You are definitely not being paranoid OR stupid. If you feel as though you are depressed and suicidal, then something is definitely not right - and you may be depressed. I don't feel like that test they give is accurate, but hey that's just my opinion. I really think you need to get a second opinion and talk to a psychologist who can help you with these suicidal thoughts. If you told her that you were feeling suicidal, she should have done something, anything - such as set up a safety plan - this is where you make a plan for when you feel like self-harming or if you feel suicidal where you come up with alternatives to distract yourself so you won't go through with these dangerous acts and seriously hurt yourself. Like I said, that should've been the least she could've done. There's so much more she could've done but that was the first thing I did when I was admitted into the mental health system. Please find a second opinion. There are things out there such as therapy and medicine that can help you feel less depressed and not suicidal. I wish you luck and I hope you do find that second opinion. You are not alone, if you need anything - please don't hesitate to PM me.