Triggering: A look inside my head...

[NyanNyan]

So right now my body is standing in the middle of nowhere, a black hole, sticking up a flag that nobody can read. I'm being sucked in. There are three people pulling me in deeper. One cries while pulling. Four people watch, three are sitting there with dumb looks on their faces as I'd nothing is going on. Wait! One person arrives and tries to pull me up! I slap her hand away because I hate her. I hate her more than anyone. I would kill her if I could. She is ideal. Perfect. And she doesn't even work for it. I think to myself: what a bitch! I hated that girl the second I saw her and than I realized that I made her. She is a part of me. Just another of my pathetic prosthetic personalities. Well the others are so much cooler. Kagane pulls a little harder. I slip. Flower tries to pull me up. Kamiko cries. Miki taunts me to just let go. But I can't. The four bystanders keeping me alive are much more worth it than the damn suicide. Let Kagane handle the problem, Kamiko is just as confused as me. Miki is screaming the lyrics to Gaichuu, Potato-Head in Wonderland, and Corpse Attack. I want to fall in. I want to let go. Miki taunts me. "Revenge. Tear them apart" she booms into my ear. "I'm not bad, I'm enjoying it!" Kamiko quotes Utsu-P. "Eat, be eaten, eat, be eaten" Gaichuu calls to me from kagane's mouth. And I'm this close from slipping when I realized that I was typing all of my exact thoughts right now.

[PSY]

I think it's good that you're able to convey these thoughts, even if they're disturbing to you. I also noticed that you'll be seeing an art therapist soon, so perhaps you could bring a copy of this thread with you on the first session and share it with your therapist. =) It'll give you both a place to start regarding these concerns.