My lying is affecting my life

[spaky12eyes]

sorry if I'm posting in the wrong forum but I wasn't sure where to go :/
anyway, here's my problem...
Essentially, I hate the person I am. First off, my girlfriend has just broken up with me because I lie so much and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I may be a compulsive liar. It's horrible to think that I'm such a horrible person that she can't be around me. The most frustrating thing is that I lie about stupid things that actually have no effect on our relationship at all. She was my best friend and through my actions I've made her hate me.
Secondly, I have absolutely terrible social skills. All of my friends are drifting away because we're all at college. I've been in college almost a month now and haven't made any friends. I feel like I am going to be alone for a long time, possibly forever. I just feel as if I won't make any friends and I'll never find somebody who I can talk to. Most of all, I just hate myself for being such a horrible person. I'm so selfish and I can't help it. I always think of things in terms of me but I can't help it. It's so frustrating to know I have this problem but being able to do nothing about it. The worst thing is that it drives the people I love away from me. Deep down I think I am a good person but all of this lying and being selfish just makes me feel like such a horrible person. Like I don't deserve to be loved. I just want my girlfriend to tell me she loves me and will help me but without her, finding help seems pointless. I just need somebody who understands. I find it so hard to explain myself sometimes and I feel like I confuse myself when I try to explain my thought process in telling lies. Somebody please help me
Thanks,
Luke

[PSY]

Hello, Luke! I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a difficult time right now. Break-ups can be so hard, especially when you have other things going on in your life (ex. starting college and making new friends).

I know this is incredibly difficult to believe when you're feeling so low... but I feel that the first step toward getting help is to tell yourself that it's not always going to be this way. You CAN change and you CAN experience a fulfilling life. It's going to take a lot of work, but your case appears to be FAR from hopeless. I would start off by utilizing your university's psych services and see what's available there. Can you get a one-on-one session with a counselor and/or psychologist? How often can you see that person? Another thing you can try is to get a referral from your regular doctor. Since your main problem seems to be compulsive lying (along with low self-esteem), someone who specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy (or CBT for short) may be a good option for you.

Also, I wrote an article about compulsive lying last year for TeenHelp's electronic magazine, "Avatar". You can read it here if you're interested. =)

[Pensive14]

I don't want to sound like an advertiser but I think you'd get a lot out of doing the Landmark Education. My brother was a compulsive liar, and I had low self-esteem, and while I can't say either of us are 100%, it definitely helped us both.

I can't think of any better advice.

[Iris. ♥]

Hey Luke. I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time. I dealt with compulsive lying for years, even though it took me a while to recognize that it was a problem. The fact that you're coming to terms with it is already a HUGE step toward changing. Having someone to hold you accountable really helps. Knowing that someone else in your life is aware of your lies and your desire to change can be just the push you need. As for your ex, there might still be hope. My advice: don't approach her with anything until you've begun to reign in your lies. She'll never change her mind if she doesn't see an obvious change in you. Good luck with everything. PM me if you ever need some more advice about this.