One into many

[crazy.leopard]

I suffer from MPD/DID. Assuming my counting is correct, I have 19 others living in my head. I've been aware of this disorder since I was around 13 or 14. I came to terms with it fully when I was 15. You don't have to say it. I'm fully aware that this is atypical. Then again, psychology is a science in infantile stages, so it wouldn't be out of the question to say that someone with MPD, a fairly new accepted disorder could know.

I mean, it's not as if I one day decided that "Hm... I think I have split personalities now". No, it was triggered by watching a segment that mentioned this disorder, after I had previously diagnosed myself as borderline personality. Something about that triggered them to start talking after a while, but I didn't become fully conscious to anything (still being young at the time) until I got to high school.

Looking back, I frequently did talk to myself, but I never thought anything about it. I also have a bad memory and lose time easily, and this tends to get worse when I start going through rough times because it brings out higher and higher levels of dissociation. My moods change often and I'm often worried and panicky.

Because I have communicated well with my alters, I know their names and personalities and can tell who is out when. As for their names, they are Devin, Ian, Dylan, Warren, Evan, Hope, Cassie, Halle, Aime, Jamie, Raven, Gage, Michael, Aaron, Scarlet, Justin, Lucy, and Aiden. Then there's me, Christian.

Really, I only wrote this to share... I'm not really sure what to say about it. Any questions, class?

[leavemealone]

I'm actually very interested in this. Can you ever choose which personality you want to be at the moment? Like you call on one of them or something?

[little.seeker]

I think it's cool that your able to share. I also have DID but have been recovering and merging some personalities. I'm not able to let go of my 4 though.
Mine are Draka, Echo, Nyx and Juliet.
I think it's great that your sharing

[little.seeker]

Originally Posted by leavemealone

I'm actually very interested in this. Can you ever choose which personality you want to be at the moment? Like you call on one of them or something?

I can occasionally change which personality I am but they control it usually. Whoever wants to be on the surface is there. But for me I know what the other personalities do. It's no longer dissociative for me. It's like living in a house with 3 other girls. Only being able to read their minds and feel their emotions.

[crazy.leopard]

@leavemealone: I can, at times, if there's good communication, but I'm the preferred personality to be out. I can yell at them to get out when I need protecting, but not just whenever. They usually get mad.
little.seeker: That's cool; I have no intention on integrating though... All of mine hate the idea and say it's like murder.

[little.seeker]

Mine merge if they both want to be on the surface (usually Echo and Draka, my dominant personalities) but they won't stay together. I've gotten to a point though where letting them live apart is fine because it's just the way I process things now. Draka hides behind echo when things get bad still.

[crazy.leopard]

Originally Posted by little.seeker

Mine merge if they both want to be on the surface (usually Echo and Draka, my dominant personalities)

I have something similar that happens with me and the former core. I just recently woke up again after Raven nearly died. -sighs- They're giving me a headache; they despise being spoken of. They think it's too dangerous.

We don't even have a house anymore because I recently destroyed it out of grief... now we're back to the house we lived in before Raven took over, basically right after we found out about each other. Fun fact: Raven started with 5. That's how bad things have been since we found out.

[little.seeker]

Draka and Echo live in the house, Nyx lives in the clouds above the house. And Juliet lives in the woods by the house. What happened that Raven nearly died? Although Juliet used to be like that with echo until we convinced her to calm down.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

Not to rain in on your parade but unless you omitted an important detail, you do not have DID since you are not diagnosed with it. According to your post, you self-diagnosed yourself with DID after you self-diagnosed yourself with borderline personality disorder. Ironically, this is related to why the name was changed from MPD to DID in the DSM system. Pre-1940s, there were less than 80 diagnosed cases of MPD but in the '50s, the movie Three Faces of Eve was released, followed in the '70s when the book and movie Sybil were released (both depicted women with MPD cases as it was virtually unheard of at the time). Roughly ten years later, the less than 80 diagnosed cases shot up to over 40,000 cases and in the next DSM edition, DSM-IV, this fad was removed by renaming MPD to DID. I mention this brief bit of history because it is exactly what you're displaying, you saw a clip of someone with DID and thought, "bingo, I got that". That's one point where I say put down the shovel, enough bullshit.
http://www.medicinenet.com/dissociat...er/article.htm
As well as "Clinical Neuroscience" by Lambert and Kinsley, 2005, pgs. 10-13.

It doesn't matter how much you think you may have a certain disorder, you need a clinician to diagnose you. The dominant theory behind DID is the personalities switch when something in the environment triggers it or perhaps you remember something very vividly, however, changing them at will as you mentioned you can is not supported by theory and is generally a second cue for people to say you're bullshitting them.

[Thirteen]

Nick, this is why I love you (in a platonic way, my friend!).

[little.seeker]

Neither one of us said that we self diagnosed ourselves. My therapist diagnosed me with it and helped me to no longer be dissociative. And I did NOT see anything about DID or with someone with DID until AFTER I was diagnosed. And I didn't say I can change them at will. I can only do that if they are WILLING to do that.

So next time....Ask before lecturing because often you can be wrong. You're not always perfect. No one is.

[Thirteen]

... Therapists aren't QUALIFIED to diagnose DID. It would HAVE to be a psychiatrist.

[little.seeker]

By therapist I meant Psychiatrist I just couldn't remember how to spell it and my internet explorer doesn't have spell check. I had one who had spent 5 years studying DID and about 20 patients in recovery at that point. I know what I'm talking about and No I'm not diagnosing people on here, I merely know what I'm diagnosed with without needing to be told I don't have it.

Or is calling people freaks and liars and attention seekers just what you do Thirteen?

[crazy.leopard]

Originally Posted by The Man And XX Master

Not to rain in on your parade but unless you omitted an important detail, you do not have DID since you are not diagnosed with it. According to your post, you self-diagnosed yourself with DID after you self-diagnosed yourself with borderline personality disorder.

I mention this brief bit of history because it is exactly what you're displaying, you saw a clip of someone with DID and thought, "bingo, I got that".

It doesn't matter how much you think you may have a certain disorder, you need a clinician to diagnose you. The dominant theory behind DID is the personalities switch when something in the environment triggers it or perhaps you remember something very vividly, however, changing them at will as you mentioned you can is not supported by theory and is generally a second cue for people to say you're bullshitting them.

You wouldn't have a clue because you don't have it. You're the kind of person to say I'm doing this for attention. This is a website. There's nobody to impress. I do not need a psychiatrist to tell me how to talk to the voices in my head. I debated whether I had it for years, but considering I have the past for it and all the symptoms, I'd say I know what I'm talking about.

I am aware of all my personalities through communication.. That's stage 1 of cooperation, the alternative to integration.. But I guess the DSMV doesn't talk about that, so it can't really exist, right? -.-

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

Originally Posted by little.seeker

Neither one of us said that we self diagnosed ourselves.

Re-read the initial post by the OP, she clearly says she diagnosed herself with borderline personality disorder, then with DID so I wasn't assuming anything.

Originally Posted by crazy.leopard

You wouldn't have a clue because you don't have it.

That's like saying a doctor wouldn't understand it because they don't have it. I suppose if you had to undergo a certain surgery, you wouldn't want a surgeon who has not undergone that surgery, right? LOL.

Originally Posted by crazy.leopard

I do not need a psychiatrist to tell me how to talk to the voices in my head.

Good, a psychiatrist wouldn't do that as it's the role of therapists or psychologists.

Originally Posted by crazy.leopard

I debated whether I had it for years, but considering I have the past for it and all the symptoms, I'd say I know what I'm talking about.

I'd say otherwise because you diagnosed yourself with one other disorder already and now decided to choose this one. According to your post, after you saw a segment, you began to think you had DID. Checking if you have all the symptoms is not how you diagnose according to the DSM nor ICD, rather there's the diagnostic criteria, psychological theories regarding the behaviour and a differential diagnosis. Perhaps you know a bit about the psychological theories behind it, however, your posts indicate you failed to acknowledge the other two.

Originally Posted by crazy.leopard

I am aware of all my personalities through communication.. That's stage 1 of cooperation, the alternative to integration.. But I guess the DSMV doesn't talk about that, so it can't really exist, right? -.-

LOL. The purpose of the DSM is to provide statistical information, diagnostic criteria, symptoms, definitions and a diagnostic tree. It is not meant to give subjective details or mentioned psychological theories behind a disorder because it is atheoretical, in other words, not grounded in theory. Take a look at credible websites, ideally at studies not watch a short segment then conclude, "hey, tat look familar, ooo, i tink i hav tat, yes, yes i do".

I'm not sure if DSMV was a typo or not but unless I'm mistaken, the DSM-V isn't out yet.

[crazy.leopard]

As stated before, we know a lot more about the human body than the mind so you can't really compare the two. With the human body, you can research and study, whereas disorders of the mind are difficult to prove. Psychology is nothing but theories and some well-grounded ideas right now. Not only that, but it's a study that hasn't gone on for long. Psychiatrists, therapists, psychologists, etc, only know as much as the research has given and that does not mean it is all accurate. For all we know, some theories could be comparative to when people used leeches in hoping it would suck out the infection.

BPD was just a theory. It seemed logical due to the fact she was unaware of us at the time. Ya'know, like the diagnosis usually says? Hell if I know why we're different, but yet again, saying that you have to be unaware of your personalities to be diagnosed is all a theory. You don't have to believe us; frankly I don't give a damn if you do or not. As was said before, this is a forum. Big whoop if someone believes or doesn't. All that matters is what we know for a fact.

I've seen more than just a segment... (It was a movie by the way and the disorder was only mentioned, not portrayed in the film) I've done my homework on this; I know full well what I'm talking about.

[FillingWithHope]

That is really interesting. Also, it is an interesting thought to think like that.

[jsmithie]

I think that The Man And XX Master should share his expert qualifications in diagnosing said conditions. Is he a doctor? Even if he is, last time I checked, I thought people came on this forum for support. And to read his posts, he's been anything but helpful.

[Thirteen]

The Man and XX Master is giving realistic answers.

I've been talking to him since shortly after I joined TeenHelp, and he's been studying Psychology and Pharmacology for 3 or 4 years now. Psychology does include talking about DID, and learning the professional facts.

So, though he's not a doctor, he's still closer to being a doctor than Wikipedia is. He's closer to being a doctor than 99% of the users on here, safe to assume.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

Originally Posted by crazy.leopard

As stated before, we know a lot more about the human body than the mind so you can't really compare the two. With the human body, you can research and study, whereas disorders of the mind are difficult to prove. Psychology is nothing but theories and some well-grounded ideas right now. Not only that, but it's a study that hasn't gone on for long. Psychiatrists, therapists, psychologists, etc, only know as much as the research has given and that does not mean it is all accurate. For all we know, some theories could be comparative to when people used leeches in hoping it would suck out the infection.

LOL, of course psychology is "nothing but theories", it's a branch of science and science for the most part has scientific theories. Some theories are ridiculous, some make no sense but all are non-factual. These are the fundamental principles of science so I don't see what you're trying to say by re-iterating them.

In regards to the body and mind, you may find some interest in Descartes' mind-body paradox/problem. The functional neuroanatomy he describes is bogus but his overall principle is what you may find intriguing.

Originally Posted by crazy.leopard

BPD was just a theory. It seemed logical due to the fact she was unaware of us at the time.

There's a difference between a scientific theory and a non-scientific theory, I'm not sure which one you're referring to.

Originally Posted by crazy.leopard

I've seen more than just a segment... (It was a movie by the way and the disorder was only mentioned, not portrayed in the film) I've done my homework on this; I know full well what I'm talking about.

How do you go from watching a movie where a disorder is mentioned and not portrayed to diagnosing yourself? Surely if it were a movie there would have been at least a scene of a someone with DID, otherwise it wasn't even a segment you watched, LOL.

Originally Posted by jsmithie

I think that The Man And XX Master should share his expert qualifications in diagnosing said conditions. Is he a doctor? Even if he is, last time I checked, I thought people came on this forum for support. And to read his posts, he's been anything but helpful.

I never mentioned diagnosing anyone, rather I shed my speculation on crazy.leopard's rationale for her self-diagnosis. Look through any of my posts in this area of the forum, I never have given a diagnosis.