Empty and No One Understands

[abbya]

So I was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and it has been hard since not many people in my life understand trauma and also feeling empty all them, or the crazy mood swings. I am going rant a bit so sorry, and I have a lot of medical issues too to the point where I almost see every specialist in the hospital and am on more meds than my grandparents. Most of my medical problems don't seem to have an answer to them and many docs think it is emotional since I am not emotionally stable currently. So my mom has been disregarding the physical pain as me looking for attention. So she routinely says things like this week (I some got pleurisy around Christmas), so my mom thinks that it is all in my head especially when the meds I was told to take don't work.

So she thinks me going to the ED(A&E) or to psych facility is me looking for attention and that is she thinks I want, when I try to avoid hospitals.

And with borderline, I have these crazy mood swings and it doesn't help that she wants me to just cut it out like it is a 4yo having a tantrum. And she thinks I am using my psych issues as a crutch. And tells me there is no reason for me to be feeling this way. How do I explain it to her that I can't control and that by her saying these things it hurts. Can I make stop hurting with shutting down and not letting emotions show? How do I explain to her what this empty feeling is when she has never felt it.

Sorry for the long post. I probably wrote to much and should shut up.

[PSY]

Your post wasn't long at all, so don't worry about having to "shut up." =)

Have you told your therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist about your mom's response to this diagnosis of borderline personality disorder? Perhaps you could share this information, then ask the therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist to invite your mom to the next therapy session, where your mom can learn more about the mental illness and better understand why you behave in the way that you do. Psychoeducation is very important in therapy, both for the person who is suffering from a mental disorder and the family members/friends who are close to that person.

[Thirteen]

Hey Abby,

I've been diagnosed with BPD myself, so I can understand how it can be. Anyways, are you seeing a mental health professional? Has the idea of DBT come up at all? DBT (Dialectal Behavioural Therapy) is a common treatment for BPD, since medications are shown to have little to no effectiveness on the disorder. Try bringing up the idea, it'll help you better than medication will.

Feel free to PM me if you've got anymore questions about BPD, DBT, or whatever else.