What should I do?

[13reasonswhy]

I formed a trusting relationship with my counselor. Over the past few months, I've seen her more as a friend than a counselor. Now, I'm just beginning to realize that she doesn't really care, she's just doing her job. But I'm really attached to her. She's helped a lot. How do I get rid of these strong feelings I have towards her?

[Amberpamber]

If she's helped you alot that's good. Keep working with her.

[Artistic Soul]

You should talk to her. Or else it can be quite uncomfortable if you keep your feelings bottled up. All the best!

[simon thompson]

Dear...

Two options:

1. Help someone like you have been helped.

2. Have a healthy discussion with your counsellor. Maintaining friendship is good. However, if she is busy helping others, do not bother her.

[Gemma.]

I understand this completely. I have only 4 sessions left and i really do not want to leave the counsellor i have. Its the only cousellor that has really helped and i still need her :/ if you find an answer to your question, please let me know, coz i have no idea haha

[PSY]

Hey there!

I think this is a common concern for people who are seeing a counselor/therapist/etc. People wonder if the psychological professional actually cares, or if they're just doing their job. Usually, it's a bit of both. Counselors/therapists/etc. wouldn't be doing what they're doing if they didn't enjoy helping people; however, there's also a need to maintain some distance, because if a relationship becomes TOO personal, it can actually hurt the therapeutic process.

Psychological professionals are taught about concepts like transference and counter-transference, so I would address this with your counselor! Chances are, she will want to explore your feelings and try to understand if it's something she's done, or if you're attributing something to her based on something else that's going on in your life. I HIGHLY doubt that she will react in a negative manner - like I said, psychological professionals are well aware of these sorts of issues, and they're trained to work through such issues with clients. =)

[Palmolive]

Hi there.

I often think the same about professionals involved with me. It's so easy to think well my worker see's several other people to so they probably don't really care about me, it's just their job. But why do you think they went in to this job? I mean the amount of stress it has to be for counselors etc. Knowing that one of your patients is in so much pain and even going home worrying about their safety at times. They do this job because they want to help people like yourself. They care about people like you and they want to do their best to support you so you can go on to live your life happily. Like already said, all professionals including therapists, psychiatrists, doctors, school nurses and even teachers have to have a barrier to where the relationship goes. While it's okay to have them feel like a friend it's important that they also stay as a professionals to you because that's what they are, but that doesn't mean they don't care. A lot of that is to do with child protection etc and is for your own benefit and safety.

If this issue is troubling you a lot to the point where it might even be affecting the work you do with them it might be a good idea to bring the problem up and talk through it. They'll understand.

I hope this helps. Take good care,
Jessie

[Gemma.]

Is there a boundary to how dependant you get to/ on a counsellor?

[daisyduck]

I'm way to attached to mine as well. I'm terrified to leave her. I totally understand where you're coming from.

Also, she probably does care. If she didn't care about helping people, she wouldn't have chosen this job.