TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts


Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr Hotlines

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lyra Saggita Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Lyra Saggita's Avatar
 
Name: Lyra Saggita
Age: 17
Gender: Female

Posts: 11
Join Date: March 10th 2012

I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 10th 2012, 10:44 PM

This thread has been labeled as non-PG13 by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for younger users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So... I really don't like being touched by anyone: not my sister, not my parents, not my brother-in-law... Anyone.
And this is all mixed with the strong desire I feel of being alone. I don't feel like hanging out with my friends, I don't like to talk to other people that much... I wasn't like that when I was little, it got worst with the time.
I'm 15, and it really bothers me because I just can't stand having a relationship with any boy because I reject touch and I don't like being around people. I feel misplaced, and often, very weird.
I want to hear some thoughts about it because I don't really think I am unhealthy, but I could be...

Last edited by PSY; March 13th 2012 at 01:34 AM. Reason: Added prefix due to nature of content in later posts.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Henry Cullen Offline
Vampire as of 1623 AD
Not a n00b
**
 
Henry Cullen's Avatar
 
Name: Henry
Age: 16
Gender: Vampire
Location: Hanging with the Cullens

Posts: 56
Join Date: February 26th 2012

Re: I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 11th 2012, 04:21 AM

I could really care less about others, like you, but on the touch thing, I believe it's normal
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Gemma. Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Gemma.'s Avatar
 
Name: Gemma
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 149
Join Date: January 9th 2012

Re: I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 11th 2012, 04:00 PM

Has someone touched you when you were younger and you didnt want them to? Like touch you inappropriately i mean? Maybe this could stem from something like that. There are many people who feel like this and in some ways that is me also. I think finding out where/ how this all started will help you to find a way around it or even stop it happening again
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Lyra Saggita Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Lyra Saggita's Avatar
 
Name: Lyra Saggita
Age: 17
Gender: Female

Posts: 11
Join Date: March 10th 2012

Re: I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 12th 2012, 12:56 AM

I can't exactly remember... Many things of my childhood were obliterated from my mind, I can't remember much...
Though even my mother hugs me and kisses me when I expressely tell her not to touch me. Many people tease me by touching me and hugging me, but it's not comfortable. I don't like it all...
There was one time when I was playing with a older neighbor of mine (like, 10 years older) and I was sitting on his lap to watch TV and I was feeling his penis, and I was young at that time, I didn't know what it was and I asked him to show it to me... And he actually did it. And he asked me to see my lady bits and I showed him. I thought it was fun back then, and I just realized what it really was a couple of years ago... It never really bothered me.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Starburst. Offline
Skittles Minion.

I can't get enough
*********
 
Starburst.'s Avatar
 
Name: Sammi
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: IRAW.

Posts: 2,751
Join Date: July 19th 2011

Re: I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 12th 2012, 02:03 AM

I know exactly how you feel with the touching. While I can tolerate it, it's definitely not something that I like to have happen a lot. It's definitely annoying when people lack respect for your boundaries and get a kick out of teasing you about it. The best thing that you can do is to be firm about it. If someone is pushing the limit, tell them to back off because it really makes you uncomfortable to be touched. I'm sure the people that are doing this just think they're being funny, rather than truly making you uncomfortable. Hopefully, they will stop once they become aware of the way they're making you feel.






HelpLINK Mentor|Social Networking Team|Articles Team
Skittlify

   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Addict
************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 9,090
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 12th 2012, 02:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyra Saggita
I can't exactly remember... Many things of my childhood were obliterated from my mind, I can't remember much...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyra Saggita
There was one time when I was playing with a older neighbor of mine (like, 10 years older) and I was sitting on his lap to watch TV and I was feeling his penis, and I was young at that time, I didn't know what it was and I asked him to show it to me... And he actually did it. And he asked me to see my lady bits and I showed him. I thought it was fun back then, and I just realized what it really was a couple of years ago... It never really bothered me.
In my mind, these are HUGE red flags. Oftentimes, when people are traumatized at a young age, they will mentally block out their childhood memories in an attempt to cope with the trauma. You mentioned one event that was "fun" at the time, and you say that it didn't bother you... but I'm wondering if you're being completely honest with yourself. Furthermore, if this was allowed to happen, then perhaps something else happened when you were even younger - something worse - which you blocked from your mind and is affecting your ability to enjoy physical contact with others.

There's a difference between a mom who forces you to endure hugs (makes you feel like a child) and friends who tease/poke you, and experiencing a traumatic event which involved physical contact. I think it would be a great idea for you to see a psychological professional about all of this. At the very least, it couldn't hurt to ask some questions and have someone to talk to about how you're feeling.





   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Gemma. Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Gemma.'s Avatar
 
Name: Gemma
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 149
Join Date: January 9th 2012

Re: I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 12th 2012, 10:25 AM

I agree that this fun incident may have been a cause to what you feel now. Maybe you feel embarrassed about it or just dont want to let it happen again, so by not letting any touching then there is no danger of something worse happening? This may not be the whole reason, as also said above, there may be other incidents that you have blocked from your mind and memory. Going and getting help may allow you to draw these things out to understand why you feel like you do
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Lyra Saggita Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Lyra Saggita's Avatar
 
Name: Lyra Saggita
Age: 17
Gender: Female

Posts: 11
Join Date: March 10th 2012

Re: I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 12th 2012, 05:46 PM

Thank you very much for the advice
I really think I am not bothered by what happened, though it might have something to do with my problems... Because I wasn't like that before, I was sociable when I was a child. And I can't remember my age when it happened, so I can't really say my changes were after that particular incident.
I've been remembering a few flashes of when I was a child, but not much really... Not enough to tell me if I am blocking something else or not... I probably won't seek help -- I am embarassed to talk about it to people in real life.
Though I will show up again if I remember something.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Gemma. Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Gemma.'s Avatar
 
Name: Gemma
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 149
Join Date: January 9th 2012

Re: I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 12th 2012, 05:51 PM

I really think you should get help. You dont have to speak about it, maybe just show the therapist/ counsellor your posts on here? Dont be embarrassed, that is going to get you no where :/
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Lyra Saggita Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Lyra Saggita's Avatar
 
Name: Lyra Saggita
Age: 17
Gender: Female

Posts: 11
Join Date: March 10th 2012

Re: I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 12th 2012, 06:46 PM

I will feel silly... Many people have been through so much worse ( or would it be worst?) than I have. "So what, you neighbor flashed to you when you were little?"
I didn't tell anyone I know in real life about this... And perhaps I never will.
Now that I remembered, I had some pretty odd sexual behaviors when I was younger, that I feel embarassed of talking about, like inserting objects in my vagina or my anus. But I don't think it all comes from what happened with my neighbor.
Hell, I remembered I used to watch porn when I was 10. :/
Really, I won't talk about it to anyone I know.
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Gemma. Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Gemma.'s Avatar
 
Name: Gemma
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 149
Join Date: January 9th 2012

Re: I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 12th 2012, 10:00 PM

I had some wierd ones too and i understand that you dont want to tak to anyone tbh, i have never wanted to and probably never will. I still think you should get help but then that makes me a hypocrite because i'd never do it myself. I dunno, maybe you could be braver than me though? It would be great if you could sort this out with someone, anyone
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Lyra Saggita Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Lyra Saggita's Avatar
 
Name: Lyra Saggita
Age: 17
Gender: Female

Posts: 11
Join Date: March 10th 2012

Re: I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 13th 2012, 12:19 AM

It really sucks u.u I know I won't have the courage to actually seek help because I don't think there is a BIIIG problem. It bothers me, but not enough to make me seek help. Besides, I feel really embarassed telling those things to someone... Well, that I see everyday. I couldn't look in the face of the person after. That's why I'm here I guess. I rather seek advice from strangers on the internet than from people I know.
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Addict
************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 9,090
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: I can't stand being touched and I don't like... People. - March 13th 2012, 01:43 AM

It's pretty common for people to reject the idea of therapy because 1) they don't feel their problems are "serious" enough, and 2) they're afraid of what the therapist will think of them.

First, I can assure you that EVERY problem is "serious" if it is causing some impairment in your life. Not being able to touch people - as in, any person under any circumstances - is going to cause problems for you. You may be able to shrug it off now, but the ability to be intimate is key to our happiness as human beings. One way we express and experience intimacy is through physical contact. If you're having problems in that area, then your problem is "serious," in the sense that it's something you'll need to address at some point. Where better to do that than in the safety of a therapist's office?

Secondly, you'd be surprised as to what therapists see and hear about on a daily basis with their clients. While your stories may seem "strange" or "unusual," I can guarantee that almost any therapist will be able to handle the situation with empathy and acceptance. The therapist isn't going to freak out and refer you to someone else because you inserted objects into your vagina/anus. They're going to express concern, and they'll want to help you - quite the opposite of what you're assuming will happen if you talk to someone about this. Yes, you may experience some embarrassment at first - but how else are you going to receive help if you don't tell your story? I like another member's suggestion of printing out this thread and sharing it with your therapist, so they can read over it and ask questions afterward for further clarification. That may help ease you into the discussion.

I really do hope you will consider seeing someone regarding all of this. You have value, and as a person of value, you deserve to receive help for this and other problems. =) Don't sell yourself short and say your problems aren't "serious" enough or that you're not "worth" being seen by a therapist. That simply isn't true!





   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
people, stand, touched

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off





All material copyright 1998-2014, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.