how can I support my partner while she is suffering?

imabananin

My partner suffers from anorexia and I just don't know what to do or say while she is having an episode or trying to talk to me about it. I know I can't force her to do anything about it because its her choice, but I want to be able to be supportive for her and not make it worse. What can I do to be supportive during these situations.

Tigerlily.

It can be difficult to support someone with an eating disorder, we don't always know what we want to hear. You just have to be there for her, listen to her when she needs to talk, be a shoulder to cry on, remind her how beautiful she is everyday even if she doesn't think so. Don't try to force her to eat, it can make her feel trapped and like she has to hide it from you, instead support her and be happy with her when she does eat, and don't get on her when she doesn't, just remind her she is better than this disorder, and that she can beat this.

imabananin

I do my best not to pressure her to eat, and I always catch myself, that's the hardest part because I get worried, but I always try to catch myself and stop. Thank you for the advice though I'm deffinatly going to try it and hopefully it makes it easier for both of us.
Thank you.

Harlequin.

Hi there,

It's really good of you to want to support your partner through this. It can't be easy on you either, seeing her in so much pain.

I agree with everything Cheye said: try not to force her to eat, or shout or get aggressive. Her ED will only beat her up more. The best thing you can do for her is be there for her, and remind her that you'll love her regardless of what she looks like.

Is she in treatment? Anorexia is a serious disease that needs treatment. The health effects of starvation are also very serious.
Remember though that she may not be ready to seek help. Just suggest it to her, and point out how much better life will be when she's recovered.

I wish you and your partner the best

~Laura

Silvia

Make sure she knows you are there for her for whatever she needs, but don't press her. When you eat together, just act normal and don't stare at her and just don't get annoyed if she doesn't eat normally or at least pretend you are not paying attention, so that she doesn't feel judged. She's lucky to have you by her side, but wait till the time comes when she's ready to take the next step towards a recovery...

imabananin

Her and I have been doing a lot of talking about it the last couple days. She was thinking of leaving me because of it so I told her how I couldn't stop her of course, but I don't want her to leave because of that, she's seen me through my issues and stuck around and that I'll always do the same for her. She's been thinking a lot about treatment lately but she's not ready for that yet, and that's fine I don't want her to do something she isn't ready for. I just made sure that she knew I would never just take her and drop her off at a hospital or treatment centre. I'm doing my best with it and I even told her that I really am trying to not do the things I used to when it came to this. Because I used to bug her an push her an watch her, so I know she's worried that I'm doing that again, but I'm really trying not to because I don't want to trigger her even more. Its just really hard at times knowing that's there's nothing I can really do.

survivor16

That sounds tough.
Because you dont want to hurt her more, but it's hard to watch someone you love suffer so much at the same time.
Sometimes it can feel like you are walking on eggshells, huh?

Like the other users have said, all you can do is just be there for her and from what I've heard you are doing a pretty great job! You have learned from your past mistakes and are trying to start fresh in supporting her.

If she is ready for treatment that is a GREAT thing. If she chooses not to get help, you cannot force her to do that either, though you know that.
Sadly all you can do is be there for her and let her talk to you whenever she needs to.

I'm sorry you are going through this, it's a sad thing when someone you love is hurting so much. I get that.

Keep staying strong! You are doing a good job.
Shelby

Silvia

Like Shelby, I also think you're doing a great job. Keep on being supportive

And she needs to see how this f** illness is becoming the center of her life and how it is ruling her life to the point she has even considered to leave you not because she actually wants or considers it's best, but just because of the eating disorder, which comes to control your life and make you do go for choices that deep down you don't want. she'll come around and see she has to take control of her own life because otherwise she's letting that disorder take everything away from her.

By your words, if she's aware she has a problem and you have talked about recovery, she's close to moving forward, so don't accelerate the path and be by her side. I'm sure she's going to overcome this

imabananin

Thank you very much everyone. I'm going to do my best an keep trying to support her through this with my new veiw on it. And thankfully for me she even knows I'm on here asking about it and isn't upset with me for it like she used too. Thank you everyone though for letting me know I'm doing the right thing. If there's any other suggestions though please share them with me