So, I start treatment on Monday.

ForeverAutumn* · self-harm free since 06.10.11.

Six years of anorexia later...

I have a meeting with a therapist on Monday. Actually, my friend giving me her session so I can have this meeting. Her therapist refuses to charge me for this since a) it's technically not my session, I'm just tagging along with my friend and b) I have no access to insurance and money is tight.

I know this is a good thing. I'm finally on my way to getting treatment, finally on my way to getting better. But I'm so scared that I keep trying to feed my friend excuses for why I can't go (doesn't work, she sees right through it) and my mind is blowing this way out of proportion. I'm not sick enough to need treatment, my friend needs it more, I'm wasting my friend's time and her therapist's time, I'm being a bother and a burden, etc...

Long story short, I'm majorly freaking out, anxiety is so out of control and I'm just not coping. Does this ever get easier?

escape♥ · **Re: So, I start treatment on Monday. -** June 24th 2012, 03:02 AM

Hey there sweety <3
Yeah, it does get better. Your only anxious/nervous because you don't know what it's like, plus, your eating disorder does NOT want you to get better. I feel like just having someone to talk to who knows what your going through and you can't say "oh your just saying that because you have to" is very relieving and helpful. I hope you have an okay session. PM me anytime if you need to talk or just need someone to listen.
~paula~

Evanescence ♥ · **Re: So, I start treatment on Monday. -** June 24th 2012, 08:02 PM

I agree with what xDarkMagicx said. It does get better, trust me, it does. I hope the session is successful for you.

Coexist. · **Re: So, I start treatment on Monday. -** June 25th 2012, 08:38 AM

Congrats on getting help! After seven years of misery, you will find things CAN get better! Although I cannot give you advice for my own recovery story, you will find that this first step will be the step that you'll look back and be proud of for the rest of your life. <3 Stay strong!

Harlequin. · **Re: So, I start treatment on Monday. -** June 25th 2012, 08:49 AM

Hey,

It's brilliant that you're getting the help and support you need. I know it's terrifying and frightening at first, but recovery is a process. Be excited about recovery- it's a new start, a fresh life. It's a life without worries about calories and weights. It's a life you can enjoy.

We're here to support you through it, okay? You aren't alone. There'll be good days, and bad days, but you're strong enough to get through both of them. Keep your chin up- it does get easier <3