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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Jessa95 Offline
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Name: Jessica
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Unhappy Run the thoughts away - December 10th 2012, 01:45 AM

Im addicted. Whenever i feel fat (everyday) i need to run. I need to do power yoga, go to the gym or run harder and longer. If im not sore the next day im not thin enough. As soon as i wakeup each day i plan my excerise an if i cant do it? I cry and cry. How much fitness is too much? You need at least an hr a day right? If my eating disorder isnt torturing me the need to work out is. I wanna be fitter, faster, stronger.... And im so tired
   
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Re: Run the thoughts away - December 10th 2012, 06:20 PM

Jess, you're doing fantastically in recovery. I'm proud of how far you've come.

But you need to realise that these are eating disordered thoughts, and urges. A bit like self harm urges, a bit like the urges to starve, or purge- you need to push them away. It's essential if you want to recover.

How much fitness is too much? The answer to that question is relative. To you? Right now, in my opinion, any exercise done for the purpose of burning calories is too much. Before your eating disorder, did you exercise? If you did, fair enough. Continue, but make sure you're making up the calories. If you didn't, then why do you want to now? Question your motives. Challenge those thoughts inside your head to the death. Challenge them. Disagree with them. "You eat your goddamn Cheerios and bicker with the bitch in your head that keeps telling you you’re fat and weak: Shut up, you say, I’m busy, leave me alone. When she leaves you alone, there’s a silence and a solitude that will take some getting used to. You will miss her sometimes...There is, in the end, the letting go.”- Marya Hornbacher.

You won't become fitter, faster or stronger. You'll die. Remember that. You deserve so, so much more than this half life. You'll get there, I promise. Stick with it. Please <3

I'm here if you ever need a chat, my lovely



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