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Name: Michelle
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Question I feel awful about myself.. - July 14th 2013, 04:38 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I feel like I've been struggling with my weight for a long time now, and I have no one to talk about it with. I have two sisters, but my older sister, who is crazy skinny won't listen to me for two seconds while I complain about my self image, and my little sister is constantly making me feel worse about myself. Even when I try talking about this with my friends, they get mad at me for even thinking that I'm fat, like they'll get seriously annoyed and not talk to me for a while, and the friends that will listen to me on occasion probably feel as if I'm trying to burden them with my self image problems!

I know I'm not actually overweight, BMI scales and doctors, and my coaches have all told me otherwise, but for some reason, no matter who tells me, I will probably always feel fat, and awful about myself all together...

This summer, I started running for cross country, thinking that somehow, this would make me into the skinny girl that I wonted to be. I was wrong, I seem to be doing fine, with the running, but it's not like it's helped me lose weight. I feel like I'm just getting fatter and fatter and I just hate the way I look, I've tried a lot of things to change that, but nothing works.

I've always had these problems, and I'm sure no one who knows me knows how bad they've gotten and have been before.A few years ago, I stopped eating all together. (ironically, this was the ONLY solution to my issues that actually worked.) Surprisingly, I felt so much better about myself, and somehow, I didn't feel like I was starving myself at all, plus I was losing a lot of weight. Of course, since then, my eating habits have gone back to normal. I know that it's insane for me to even think of not eating again, but recently, I've begun to seriously consider it again. I know that this can't be a permanent solution, because then I'll get sick, an everyone will know, but I honestly don't know what else there is to do.

Sorry for the rant..


Keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing, and there's so much to smile about. -Marilyn Monroe
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Re: I feel awful about myself.. - July 15th 2013, 08:05 AM

Hey Michelle,

If you are not overweight, then you do not need to lose weight. Losing weight temporarily made you feel better, but it won't make you feel better long-term. You will just want to lose more and more weight. Have you thought about talking to a professional about your feelings? Your friends do not know how to react, and that's not bad of them, but they're just not professionals. A professional, such as a counselor, or a doctor? These self-esteem problems will only continue to hurt you, and if you were to fully develop a eating disorder, it would only get worse. Reach out now. <3

Stay strong.

I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
Andrea Gibson, "I Sing The Body Electric; Especially When My Power Is Out"
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