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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Viper1996 Offline
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Unhappy Mum making jokes? - September 2nd 2013, 06:50 PM

I don't have an eating disorder diagnosis, its just a sub to my ptsd diagnosis. I've been throwing up after meals and often binge eating and then I won't eat for a few days ect, i don't know why. Anyways my mum brought a pizza home and she gave each of us 3 slices (me and my cousin) and then she said to me "you can only have it if you don't throw it up afterwards i'm wasting money on food for you" it made me feel even worse, so I didn't eat and my cousin tried to but I didn't want to after that. I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it does and my mum doesn't even seem to care, she's been throwing a lot of these comments at me lately and it reminds me of what my dad use to say to me and I don't know, it just makes me really upset.
   
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Re: Mum making jokes? - September 2nd 2013, 07:02 PM

Hey there! I'm really sorry about what your mom is saying. My dad used to joke about self harming, and I found it really offensive and it made me upset. I confronted him, and said that it wasn't funny to joke about those types of things, and he stopped. Have you confronted your mom about it? I'm sure if she realises how much her words hurt you, she will stop. I hope everything goes fine!


bullshit, you fucking miss me.
   
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Re: Mum making jokes? - September 2nd 2013, 07:07 PM

I have confronted her before, but she just said I was too sensitive about these things. My camhs team has even had a word with her, but she doesn't listen and just says I'm her child and she knows me better. I just don't know what to do anymore.
   
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Re: Mum making jokes? - September 3rd 2013, 10:51 AM

I'm really sorry about all of this. I know how hard it can be when a loved one is treating you this way. Try and confront her again, but this time with more sterness. The first time I told my dad to stop, he said the Sam th ing your mom said. That I was too sensitive. But the second time I tried, I was more stern and then he stopped. Maybe that will help?


bullshit, you fucking miss me.
   
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Re: Mum making jokes? - September 3rd 2013, 12:23 PM

I'm not very confident, plus i will feel guilty, my mums done so much for me, i mean she took me in when no one else would...
   
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Re: Mum making jokes? - September 5th 2013, 06:15 PM

Only way is to tell her how much it hurts you. Also, her taking you in when nobody else would is no excuse. She is your mother and you are her responsibility and nobody else's besides the father.
   
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Re: Mum making jokes? - September 7th 2013, 02:01 PM

Hi,

This sounds very difficult to deal with. I can tell you really care about your mom because you mentioned you would feel guilty about confronting her. I also can tell that she cares about you because you said she is the only person who brought you in for help when no one else would. Both of these things mean something.
This means that you need to confront her about this in a way that explains how you feel without hurting her in the process.
You could do this in a couple of ways.
First, you could tell her you would like to talk to her. Then the two of you could sit down and you could say something like "Mom, I know you really care about me and want to see me better. I really am glad for this. I just find it very hard to continue getting better when you joke about eating with me. In order for me to get better, I need for you to not joke about this."
This tells your mom how you feel, why you feel that way and what she can do in order to help you.
Then, she can comment however she may like and hopefully she will be understanding.
I'm hoping this helps in some way and that things between you and your mom get resolved soon because that would be great for both of you.
If you want to talk, you can send me a PM if you would like and I will do my best to listen and be as supportive as possible.
Take care.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: Mum making jokes? - September 7th 2013, 06:54 PM

I would express to her that what she is doing is hurtful. She really may have thought this joke was supposed to be "funny" and that you would laugh, but to me, it does sound like she was just being hurtful. I know that it is hard to stand up to your parents; afterall, they were the ones that raised you, gave you clothes, often took you in, supported you through your disorder, etc. But it's okay to express your feelings and ask her not to say/do certain things. You deserve to be treated like a human-being with feelings, even if your mother has done a lot for you.


I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
Andrea Gibson, "I Sing The Body Electric; Especially When My Power Is Out"
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