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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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People saying "I'm fat"... Biggest... Pet... Peeve... Ever - December 26th 2013, 11:30 PM

I struggle a lot with unhealthy attitudes towards food. It is something I largely have worked to overcome, I still have to try hard alllllll the time.

But I was thinking today, how hard it is to want to lose weight (I am qualifiedly overweight still, this isn't like, some out proportion view on my body) and to try to control my negative habits even further cause it is a constant struggle for me to try to do it. Like I can't NOT have a meal. It's very challenging to work out a situation where not getting to eat when I normally have a meal won't cause at least some agitation (it's not noticable, but like if I start snacking on thing around 5:30 I usually have to force myself to stop and eat at 6).

Ok, so my point here is that people don't understand it. They don't understand how hard I work to be healthy. And I can't stand it when people who are thin (but not to thin) complain they are fat or something when they're clearly not or are like "omg, I don't try to be thin, I eat so much". Except as someone who ate my way into being overweight and would constantly feel guilt and shame for it, I don't think they have any fucking clue what eating "a lot" looks like.

And I don't think they know how horrible it sounds to someone like myself who's always had to work for it to hear "I'm fat"... Like... Ok... What do I look like to you then? I must seem like some sort of monstrous whale if your some how a cow and aren't. And maybe they are just insecure or they themselves have an eating disorder... But it just comes off as selfish not to think about how your words, not matter how insecure or horrible you feel, will be heard by others and thus hurt them. I hate it when people who have bodies that I'd kill to have complain about being fat and I just want to scream at them to shut up cause they don't understand how hard I've worked just to get to where I am.




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Re: People saying "I'm fat"... Biggest... Pet... Peeve... Ever - December 27th 2013, 12:20 AM

Hey,

Okay well I can see your point of view because I'm overweight and eat a lot too and am trying really hard to lose weight.

However, it's important to remember that when people say this they aren't comparing their body's to your's so 99% of the time I doubt they're meaning to offend you or imply that you must be huge or whatever it is you think they're meaning.

Also, some of these people may have mental health issues which cause them to have a disproportionate view of what their body is actually like so while they may look thin in your eyes all they see in the mirror is fat. At the end of the day they don't mean to offend you and it's hard for them to watch their words sometimes when all they're hearing in their head is "fat fat fat".

I did know a really good blog post that explained all this better than I have and in a lot more detail but I have no idea where it was I read it.


   
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Re: People saying "I'm fat"... Biggest... Pet... Peeve... Ever - December 27th 2013, 08:14 PM

I feel the same way. I'm overweight as well, and I'll have my friends talk about their fat and pinch their skin, as if that's anything compared to me. It makes me very self conscious, as I wonder what they think of me. However, do remember that they really may believe it, even if they don't have particularly bad body image. Modern society has really harmed the way we believe our bodies should look; people use the Victoria Secret fashion show to shame themselves, and believe that they should look like that, even if they're perfectly thin. I see my friends on Instagram post a picture of themselves, and they are extremely thin or fit, saying "Yay progress! Gotta keep pushing" and I seriously want to say "WHY CAN'T YOU BE OKAY WITH WHERE YOU ARE NOW?!" But you can't always do that.

Instead, start a revolution by loving your own body. Don't engage in fat-talk yourself, and call out friends that say it. Give them compliments that have nothing to do with image, but instead, on how amazing their bodies are in other ways and how awesome they are in other aspects. For example, "I'm so proud that you've been exercising every day, that's really healthy!" or "You did awesome on that math test!" So much of our worth stems from looks, and we need to encourage healthier talk in ourselves and our friends. Good luck.


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& the sun said “it hurts to become."
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Re: People saying "I'm fat"... Biggest... Pet... Peeve... Ever - December 28th 2013, 01:22 AM

Okay, so I'm not overweight, even though I feel like I am. But when I was in 4th grade, I was borderline overweight. That didn't affect me for 7 years of my life, but finally in 11th grade, hearing that in the back of my head pushed me to want to lose weight. Long story short, here I am with EDNOS and anorexic tendencies I guess. No one noticed when I lost weight, and now that's what I crave. I can't decide if I want to lose weight or gain my life back. Back to what I wanted to day, does anyone else get jealous when other people around them lose weight? Or have more control than you may have? I'm a very jealous person, I know. But when I see other people successfully losing weight and getting muscular, I want to cry.
   
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Re: People saying "I'm fat"... Biggest... Pet... Peeve... Ever - December 29th 2013, 12:31 AM

I can definitely understand people genuinely believing it. Which is the problem isn't it? When even thin girls are left to believe their fat because they don't feel like they can fit into some terrifyingly narrow body type that society exemplifies in the media (I mean, how many girls look like the Victoria Secret models?! So unrealistic!!), and it makes EVERYONE feel like shit.... I have to fight everyday to be healthy, to eat right and to know I'm pretty and worthy and notto feel disgusting when I don't eat a very specific way. It's really hard not to convince myself that X amount of calories isn't the only way cause then I feel like crap and feel hungry ALL THE TIME... And it's just really hard to deal with other people calling themselves fat because I think they must think I look hideous to them. I know (logically) they probably don't that, which is the worst part... I hate what society teaches us. I swear that eating disorders probably owuldn't be so bad or present if we didn't have to see/hear some of of the crap we hear all the flippin' time.




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