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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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my friend - January 9th 2014, 10:10 AM

hey.
so a while back my friend told me she'd made herself throw up after she ate 'too many mnms'. She also asked me not to tell anyone. I've wanted to bring up the topic again but haven't found the right time and have also been trying to battle my self harm (which stress and the weight of others' problems can trigger) and trying to stop my thoughts of anorexia and bulimia. What should I say? I don't really want to tell her about my self harm.

thanks

Last edited by xxBecxx; January 9th 2014 at 10:15 AM. Reason: adding more info
   
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Re: my friend - January 9th 2014, 01:02 PM

I'm sorry to hear that you're friend is struggling. I am also sorry that you're own issues with self harm and eating disorders are causing you to struggle too.

For now, she has confided in you, so it's probably best to keep her secret because she's going to need a friend, however, if she is showing no signs of wanting to get help, you should encourage her too, especially because it could be harmful to her not to and it's going to cause you a lot of stress and anxiety to just let it go. She might actually be trying to deal with it, so telling an adult (guidance counsellor or who ever) might not be beneficial in these circumstances unless she's not getting anywhere, but you need to know she's making that effort first and encourage her to seek help on her own when she's ready too.

In addition, I do think it would be a good idea for you to speak with her yourself, let her know that you're worried about her and that your concerns for her are triggering you're own problems, you can be as vague as you need to be if you are not ready to discuss the self harming yet. It might help if you guys can even work together to try to "get healthy" together, if you guys worked together it might work in her favour. Like maybe ask about why she choose you (vs. another friend) and maybe it'll be because she knew you'd be able to relate/understand, if you guys could support each other and be accountable to each other it might help both of you..

I don't know if that helps at all. If you need to talk more you can PM me ok




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Re: my friend - January 12th 2014, 04:57 AM

Hey,
If your friends' disordered eating is really worrying you, I would tell someone even if she doesn't want you to. Eating disorders are extremely dangerous and can cause a large number of health problems such as tooth decay, heart failure and osteoporosis. Is there anybody who your friend trusts who you can tell about it. Eating disorders I feel should be addressed before it gets bad. She might be mad at you in the short term, but will thank you later because otherwise, the side effects could become irreversible.
I would maybe put off telling her about your self-harm only because it could be triggering to her; however, if you tell her about your self harm, it may help her not feel so alone. It's really up to you to judge whether your friend is in a good enough mental state for you to disclose that to her.
I hope this helped. Good luck!



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