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Always * Offline
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Purging - January 25th 2014, 05:59 PM

I've struggled with ED-thinking. It's never gotten out of control, but there have been times where I have felt an overwhelming urge to puke or exercise to get ride of the "poison" that I ate. I fortunately have a serious disgust over vomit bordering on a phobia, so I've only ever used exercise when I couldn't stop myself.

Usually if it gets really bad, I just need to distract myself for about 20 minutes.

It's largely gotten better, but I have still struggled a lot with feelings of guilt and disgust because of that and wanting to exercise because of the "poison".

It doesn't help that I need to lose some weight (my BMI does still say I am overweight, and it's high enough that it's not "inaccurate" or "misleading", as I hate the BMI cause I think that it'll sometimes tell you that you're overweight when your really just muscular, but it's accurate enough and I am overweight for real!!!)

I finally talked to a friend over Christmas. But idk... Does it ever go away?

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
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Re: Purging - January 30th 2014, 05:11 AM

It'll subside, and you'll have better and worser times. For me, most of last semester, I had no issues with purging or urges to do so, but they came back in late November and have continued being very strong since then. If you manage your other stress well and talk to your friends about the issues, it helps. It's good that you have strategies to help in the moment, that'll also help in the long term. You'll get through it, you're doing well. It's a process.

I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
Andrea Gibson, "I Sing The Body Electric; Especially When My Power Is Out"
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