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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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_Headphones_ Offline
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How the hell do you make them stop? - February 15th 2014, 09:05 PM

lets start off by saying I hate eating but I do it to appease people. So I eat two meals a day sometimes I'll only eat dinner. I then will get so hungry that I will eat about four different things one right after the other. Then I want to purge and I do purge about once every two weeks or so it seems like. I don't remember the last time a purged though. Anyways my problem is my thoughts they won't shut the hell up.

My thoughts are consuming me. Every time I eat I think about purging and just sit there with the thoughts and they won't go away. I lay in bed and think "tomorrow I'm only going to eat one meal and very little of that" then I get up in the morning and I end up eating and end up screwing up my plans for the day. I honestly don't know how to make the purging thoughts go away without actually giving in and purging, but then if I don't purge I feel guilty and want to cut because I need to punish myself it's a never ending thing. So I need to know how to do that.

My grandma doesn't know I purge and I would like to keep it that way. I've been thinking about asking to go back to the ED specialist but then my grandmas gonna wanna know why and I just refuse to tell her why. The only reason I want to go back is to stop the purging but not stop the starving. So I don't even know if I'm actually going to do it.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: How the hell do you make them stop? - February 16th 2014, 09:43 PM

Hey,

I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I know that it must be a really difficult thing to have to deal with, especially when it's been going on for awhile. I know that you probably don't want to have to ask for help again, but facing this alone isn't going to do any good. I think that going back to the specialist is a really good idea. You shouldn't have to keep on living like this and you deserve to get the help that you need.

Maybe you could figure out a way to tell your grandma you want to go back to seeing the specialist without letting on that you're purging or starving yourself. While I think it might actually be helpful for her to know, I can understand why you would be reluctant to tell her, and I think you deserve to get help regardless if she knows or not. You could tell her that you've been having thoughts of starving yourself again and that you're really worried that things are going to go back to the way they were. You don't have to give her all the details, but tell her enough to convince her that there's reason enough for you to go back.

I wish that there was more advice that I could give, but I hope that helps a little. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me. I hope that things start improving for you soon


   
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_Headphones_ Offline
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Outside, huh?
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Name: Frankie<3
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Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: How the hell do you make them stop? - February 16th 2014, 11:45 PM

That is not what I asked. I asked how to make them stop. And I'm not worried I don't care that I'm starving myself. I care about the purging. I said I might go back but I don't want to. And I AM NOT TELLING MY GRANDMA SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
|PM/VM|


   
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