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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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gloves123 Offline
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Arrow please help asap - March 1st 2014, 10:29 PM

So i have a problem
A few days ago, my friends brought up the topic of one of their friends, who i don't know, and how she hasn't been
they said some stuff like how she's gotten really skinny lately and how she's lost [EDITED] in the last 2 months. yesterday she walked past us and when she was gone, my friend turned to us and said 'she's so skinny!' and said the girls leggings were almost falling off of her. some of my friends who know her are worried and are thinking of going to the guidance office at our school and letting them know anonymously, but I'm wondering if I should tell my friend to talk to the girl, that she's worried about her and cares.
I just don't know, I don't know the girl so I can't talk to her, but I don't want her to end up like me. Even though I'm in recovery, that doesn't change the fact I almost died, I don't want anyone else to go through that if I can help it.
Should I keep quiet? Or talk to my friend about talking to HER friend? If so, what should I say?

Last edited by Coffee.; March 1st 2014 at 10:42 PM. Reason: Please do not post weight numbers, they are against Code of Conduct.
   
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Re: please help asap - March 1st 2014, 10:50 PM

Hello Rashel,

Your concerns are valid and should be addressed. I think talking to your friend who knows her, for her to talk to her about the weight she lost. However, you don't know how much she did loose so therefore what you've heard may not be true in terms of the weight. We have to be careful with that kind of information.

Someone could easily loose weight due to an illness which isn't preventable at times. Some people lose weight because yes, they struggle with an eating disorder. Or perhaps she is eating but her body is losing a lot of weight. She could perhaps be eating differently and working out.

If you or your other friends are concerned you can tell someone, that way someone can talk to her about the weight she has lost, which others have noticed. Would you feel comfortable talk to your friend who knows her, ask your friend to talk to her first? You can make an anonymous statement on what you have noticed and your concerns.

Since you know how hard it is because you're in recovery for an eating disorder you could approach her, explain you understand. If you do I would keep whatever she tells you to yourself. That way she can trust someone and she feels respected. How do you feel about talking with her? You can explain your in recovery, that way you and her can share ideas on what worked and didn't work. However, you seem unsure if she does has an eating disorder but you are worried about her.

I'm not sure what country you are in but here is a few links you can check out.

National Eating Disorders Association [USA]
This organisation helps those struggling with eating disorders through podcasts, videos and downloads offering comprehensive information about eating disorders.

ED Referral
ED Referral provide is a comprehensive directory of eating disorder treatment centres around the World.

Take Care,
Chantal


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Last edited by MsNobleEleanor; March 1st 2014 at 10:52 PM. Reason: Spelling
   
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Re: please help asap - March 5th 2014, 04:59 AM

So,

I've actually been in this situation. I actually went and talked to that girl, even though she didn't know me. It was awkward at first but we became close cause I could help her with the issues she was having.

If you feel like you can handle it without being triggered, maybe go up to her and talk to her yourself.

Sorta like:

"I don't know if you actually have any issues, but our friend ____ and more people are worried about how skinny you are getting. I am bringing this up randomly because I used to have a serious eating disorder, and im not saying you have one, but I'm here for you okay? If you need any advice or any help I can help."

So yeah.

<3 Katley


Just rise above this
Kill them with your kindness
Ignorance is blindness
They're the ones that stand to lose

'Cause they don't even know you
All they see is SCARS
They don't see the ANGEL
Living in your heart
   
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Re: please help asap - March 8th 2014, 07:50 PM

Say this, with dead-on eye contact.

"I express sincere worries about your friend and her transition of losing weight excessively over a period of time. I only wish she seeks guidance and medical treatment before she goes down a lane that will cause more damage than repair. If you can talk to her about it then that'd be great. I really do care."



   
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