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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Exclamation Starvation + Vomiting - April 17th 2014, 01:12 AM

I went too the doctors yesterday and he said 'You need to loose weight or you will be obese by 25' then I went back too school and the girls at school started calling me fat ass and shit like that. Now I ate 1 apple since the visit and made myself throw up 3 times. My mum put me on the raw food diet and has been giving me salads but I haven't been eating them at all. I was very pale to start with but now I look almost as pale as paper from lack of food. I have only been drinking water and I've been taking laxatives. My calorie intake is between EDITED and EDITED. I've had too wear my 3rd grade belt which is a large my usual belt size is EDITED. I haven't ate and the thought of eating makes me feel stupid and fat and worthless.


If Bitches Could Fly... My School Would Be An Airport

Last edited by Hypothesis.; April 17th 2014 at 01:14 AM. Reason: Please don't include Calorie numbers or sizes. :)
   
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Re: Starvation + Vomiting - April 17th 2014, 03:45 PM

Hi there, Victoria.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through this. I will say, first of all, that eating does not make you stupid, fat or worthless. The girls at school who called you names like that have no right to do so, and I would urge you to report them to a school official or counsellor if possible. You don't deserve to be taunted like that and called names.

Unfortunately, not eating at all is just going to cause more damage. It may be tough, but you need to try to stop with the laxatives, because it might lead to overusing or abusing them. Try to work up, bit by bit, to eating a little. Maybe try eating some of the salads your mum is giving you, eat a bit one day and eat a bit the next day, and work your way up.

I know too well from personal experience that, when eating disorders get out of hand, the results can be catastrophic, so it really is important that you seek help if you're not keeping it under control yourself. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents, you could try discussing it with your school's counsellor or a teacher you trust, maybe.

I hope everything turns out okay. I wish you all the best.
-Gareth
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Re: Starvation + Vomiting - April 18th 2014, 02:57 AM

Hi. I know exactly how you feel. I'm so sorry that you feel this way and are going through this. I started out "overweight," and ended up at a "normal/healthy" weight. I have been in recovery for my ed for about 2 years (my bmi now categorizes me as overweight on the cusp of obese,) and am currently going through my worst relapse. The thing that helped me the most was defying my illness instead of just going with every horrible thought and destructive action. you can try to question your negative thoughts... like if I think "I'm stupid and fat." it's not necessarily a fact, it's more of a thought based on my feeling "fat" Find solid proof of what you're saying/thinking and even if it's true, ask yourself why it's wrong or why people seem to make it seem so negative and a big deal. also, try to slowly eat a bit more if you can. maybe find some distractions that will really occupy you when you feel like purging. It's hard to do these things when you're just so used to thinking a certain way, but hating yourself is much harder and much more tiring and painful. You are not worthless. being "fat" does NOT mean that you are a bad person. Sometimes I feel like the solution to all my problems is to stop eating etc and that becomes my truth but deep down I know that I'll have more problems and I struggle to listen to the logical part of me.

you can always contact me if you need to vent or have someone listen or anything like that.
   
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