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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Ana is my best friend. - April 29th 2014, 10:08 PM

Hi. I have been suffering from an eating disorder for about a month and I think it's time to tell someone and get some support.

I weigh x. Being fat terrifies me. I have little to no thigh gap and it haunts me every time I look in the mirror. People say I'm average, but I've been average all my life, and I got tired of being normal. Food disgusts me and every time I'm around it I want to throw up.

When I first started hearing the voice in my head that said, "You're fat, you know that? You don't deserve to eat." I started cutting back. A little more everyday. I started telling my mom I had eaten or I was busy. I had gotten skinnier, and my thigh gap was starting to show. I was feeling happier, then I binged. I gained some weight and I panicked. I went outside and started exercising until I fainted. The next couple of weeks after that, I would only eat a bit at dinner and drink tons of water. I would skip breakfast and lunch and spent the whole lunch period in the library researching eating disorders and how to get thinner.

It doesn't matter how thin I get, I will never be skinny enough. I think of myself as finally not average anymore. I finally can be different.

Though I don't know if I really want to get help, I definitely need support from anyone who can give me it.

If anyone has questions or just needs someone to talk to, I'm here for you. Thank you all for reading this.

Best Wishes,

BeutifullyBroken <3

Last edited by BeautifullyBroken; April 30th 2014 at 01:24 AM. Reason: Please do not include weight numbers on the site. :)
   
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Re: Ana is my best friend. - May 2nd 2014, 01:31 AM

I am really glad that you decided to try to get some support in your struggle with food and self image. I really understand where you are coming from and have been there myself. The start of your illness is almost exact to mine.

"It doesn't matter how thin I get, I will never be skinny enough." and about being average.

I want/wanted to be weightless. I wanted the scale to stand still when I got on because to me, that was the only way I was going to be good enough, to just be good... rather, the best at something.

I am now considered "rehabilitated" from my eating disorder. because I gained a shit ton of weight that is literally killing me.

There is no rush to get better. The whole world can want you to get better, but if you aren't ready it will never happen. I have faith that you will be able to lead a happy and confident life.

You can talk to me whenever you'd like. Just to say hi and talk about everyday blah or to vent and yell out your frustrations or even any questions like how to get through a really bad day.
   
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