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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
hello giraffie Offline
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Exclamation Telling my parents... - May 3rd 2009, 07:24 PM

My parents know that I used to have an eating disorder in middle school. But as far as they know, I'm over it cmpletely.
Today in the car, though, my mom mentioned that, recently, I've been looking pale and sick, almost like when I was In middle school, when I had an eating disorder.
I sort of laughed it off, and told her I've just had a cold or something, though this wasn't the truth, and I don't think she believed me entirely.
The truth is, I've been making myself sick a few times a day, and cutting down on what I've been eating.
I'm not exactly skinny, but I've been loosing weight steadily, and have gotten a few commets on it, so I know people have noticed.
I want my parents to know, because I don't want to let it get out of hand, but I really don't know how to tell them. I don't want to worry them, but I thin they should know.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Telling my parents... - May 3rd 2009, 08:03 PM

hey sarah!
ur stil kinda new to the site, so i thought id say hello and welcome first.
in a way, ur sort of lucky, because ur parents knew about ur ED when u were in middle school.
so i guess they know and understand to a certain level about EDs?
people around u are obviously conserned, most of all ur parents.
perhaps try and say to ur mum something like 'u know what u asked me in the car the other day, well...its back?'
or something similar.
i wouldnt make it out to b really formal thou, like sitting them both down and announcing it, because it may come as to much of a shock, and difficult for them to react to.
but of course u know ur parents, i dont, whatever u think is best really.
good luck,
i know u can do it

xxx


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Telling my parents... - May 3rd 2009, 10:17 PM

Hey, welcome to the site (:.
Having an eating Disorder is hard. Telling parents anything upsetting is hard, so its pretty understandable how you're feeling. However, i do agree you should tell them and i think its a good thing you think that. You just need to sit them down and tell them the truth, dont tell them half of the truth and half lies. Parents are there to worry, they care for you, its only normal for them to worry.
Your making such a positive step towards your future, so well done Just go for it love. Let me know how it goes (:
Pm me anytime.
<3 Jess
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Telling my parents... - May 3rd 2009, 10:26 PM

hey,
I don't really know that much about having an ed myself but i have been there for a friend who recently told her parents that she had an Eating Dissorder. Telling someone is one of the hardest things that you will ever do, but telling someone is the first step to recovery. Telling them would be a good idea, but it will be hard, when i was supporting my friend before she told her parents we talked through ways that she could tell them without them interupting, we decided the best option would be for her to write a letter saying exactly what she was going thought and what she wanted from them. However in the end she started drafting a letter and gave up and one morning just blurted it out. You could also sit them down and talk to them, tell them exactly what has been going on and what you want to do about it.
Your parents will worry about you, and even though your Mum has believed that you have a cold for now, she will keep asking. maybe it would be a good idea to tell them sooner so that you don't have to think of an excuse of whats wrong, and when you tell them it is when you feel ready to do so.
good luck wit hwhatever you decide, pm me if needed

<3





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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Telling my parents... - May 3rd 2009, 10:29 PM

Sarah,

Well done for wanting to tell your parents about your eating disorder, that's a huge step in recovery. Reaching out for support is never an easy thing to do, you should be proud of yourself for coming this far.

Your mum obviously cares about you and it sounds like she's worried, if she brought up the eating disorder in the car today. No matter how scary telling your parents what's going on may be, remember that they love you and care about you, and want to support you in any way they can.

If you don't think you're quite comfortable telling them out loud, have you thought about writing a letter or an email to your parents? This could be a lot easier, less stressful and nerve-wracking, as writing an email means you can make sure it sounds exactly how you want it to and you can be sure it's just how you want it to be. The problem with telling them out loud is that if you're nervous, you might forget something important you want to tell them, or choke up, you know? Just think about the email idea, I really think it's worth giving a try.

Again, well done for wanting to reach out for support. Let me know anytime you'd like to talk about anything, ok? Take good care of yourself.



how could anyone ever tell you, you are anything less than beautiful?| PM Me
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Re: Telling my parents... - May 4th 2009, 05:44 PM

you could write it in like a letter or something and give it to them, or put it on their door, or pillow or something.
   
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Re: Telling my parents... - May 4th 2009, 06:58 PM

Write your mother a letter explaining exactly how you've been at the moment, if you've got a diary maybe put some relevant parts of that in with the letter, and leave it on her bed. it's what I did or maybe send her an email with a link to this thread? i've done that to, and both worked good luck with whatever you chose to do


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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Telling my parents... - May 4th 2009, 08:46 PM

Thanks so much go the support, it really means a lot
I've been considering writing my mom an email. Thats what my friend did last year when she wanted to tell her mom something. I'm just afrad she'll talk to me about it when I get home or whatever. I know she won't be mad or anything, but I really don't want to have to look at her and talk about this...
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Re: Telling my parents... - May 5th 2009, 03:06 PM

maybe you could ask her to 'talk' to you about it via email?


There's always light at the end of a tunnel, even if you have to pass a few bends to see it.



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Mada tooi anataboshi
   
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Re: Telling my parents... - May 5th 2009, 06:57 PM

Maybe sit with her why she reads the letter, then you don't have to worry about what she will say to you when she gets back. When i had something important to say to someone i sat with them as they read the letter i had written and watched there reactions. It also meant that i wasn't absolutly terrified waiting for their response as i could see what was happening.

Once you have told your parents inevitably they are going to want to talk to you face to face about it, so maybe an idea would be if you don't want to talk to them then straight away, write a time down when you feel that you will be able to talk to them face to face, outline what you want so that they can help you.

<3





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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Telling my parents... - May 9th 2009, 03:45 PM

I know that feeling - when you really want to talk something over with your parents, but hate the thought of them actually sitting down with you to get you to open up. When I told my mom about my eating disorder about a year ago, I sort of mustered up all my courage. I remember "psyching" myself up (like for a sports competition or a math test lol) and then just being honest with my mom. I came up to her, and said: look, mom, there's something really important i want to tell you, and you're very important to me, so i decided that this can't stay a secret. Those words, however uncomfortable it was to say them, got some of the weight off my shoulders, and it was easier for me to continue.

Whenever I have to get into a conversation like that, I tend to fret too much and get very emotional. So for me, it's better to put it out there in a very matter-of-fact tone. Just get the facts out, and wait for their reaction. They're your parents, so they're the closest thing you have. They'll still be supporting you ten years from now, so imagine looking back at yourself in ten years -- this stuff will be far behind you by then.

My mom told me that once she gave birth to me, it was as if her life didn't belong to her anymore -- she lived to protect and care for me in the best way that she could. So remember that only a parent and their kid have this special type of relationship. Maybe this will give you more reason to be open about your eating disorder with them.

Hope some parts of this were helpful for you! Just like many other folks answering this, I'm totally open to PMs any time, and I mean that.

So, good luck, and tell us how it goes!

Love,
Tiger
   
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