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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Binging - August 27th 2014, 04:25 AM

I've been trying to recover from the ED habits and I've been doing decently but on Saturday I totally binged out and I haven't stopped binging since. This is why I don't do recovery. When I recover all that happens is I replace my restricting/purging/binging and purging with binging. I can't handle this. I can't gain the weight that I lost back. I want to go back to restricting or purging.

I've been doing really good for about two or three weeks and for some reason I've just hit a binging spot and I can't get over it. I am just ravenous. I've eaten, what I feel, is too much. I had candy and two bagels and an egg sandwich. It's all so disgusting. I am disgusting. Today isn't as big of a binge day as Saturday and Sunday but still it's out of control. I normally go out and buy fruit to binge on but my bank account is low right now and I can't afford it so I am just stuck.

I hate myself and I hate recovery. I can't do this. I have more control when I am purging and restricting.


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Re: Binging - August 28th 2014, 03:34 AM

I definitely understand where you're coming from with this. Do you think maybe keeping something in your mouth would help prevent binging? I know someone who is trying to quit smoking and she bought dozens of hard candies to keep something in her mouth since she is so used to that. You could probably try this with gum, too. Do you know what thoughts or particular feelings lead you to binge?

In therapy I learned that any reason for not being able to engage in something harmful is a good one so you can use your low bank account as a way of keeping yourself safe for a while. Perhaps when your account gets higher you can create another reason to hold onto and so forth.

Recovery is hard but it'll be worth it in the end when you look back and see all of the progress that you have made! I think recovery is especially challenging at first but I know you can do this. And you're not disgusting, I promise.


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Re: Binging - August 28th 2014, 03:48 AM

I could try the hard candy or the gum. I've never thought of that before.

I don't know what emotions go behind a binge. I just get the urge sometimes and I end up caving in. The urge has passed and I've pretty much been restricting, to a certain extent, today. I did purge today but I don't know what emotions were behind it. I guess maybe anxiety.

I feel like I am never going to overcome my ED habits. I try so hard to overcome this but I end up going right back to it. It's like this is my life, my way of coping.

I feel lost and treatment isn't an option because of school and because of other things that it will disrupt. I feel so lost and I don't feel like anyone in my life takes this serious enough and on top of that I don't think it is serious enough to warrant concern so who cares, you know?

Thank you for the response by the way. It gave me some things to think about.


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Re: Binging - August 28th 2014, 04:10 AM

I've tried it and it's really helpful. Especially with the gum because it'll keep your jaw moving in a chewing motion.

Yeah, sometimes they can be spur of the moment and some of those unknown triggers can cause the worst urges for binging. If you keep food that you binge on a certain place maybe you can move it into another room so that if you want to binge you have to walk by a lot of other potential distractions first. You could also make a list of things you have to do before binging or purging so you can try to get your feelings out in another way.

Since treatment isn't an option with school, you could make your own treatment plan and plan that around school so it will fit. You can keep it written down and use something you're really looking forward to or you're interested in purchasing as a incentive. I think it's normal for you to think that it isn't serious because you are so used to going through this. To you, it just is but to someone looking in it's different. But it is serious because you're harming yourself physically and mentally. Even if you don't feel like anyone cares remember that I do.

You are doing well staying free of other things and I think by tackling this one step at a time you will get there. You may have thought at one point that you wouldn't ever be free of self-harm or other behaviors but you are now and I know that someday you won't feel the need to binge, purge, or restrict.

And you're welcome!


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Re: Binging - August 31st 2014, 08:33 PM

I can totally relate to this in a way. Chewing gum works sometimes for me, but I found that drinking water helps fill me up and I'm not as hungry as I was before.




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Re: Binging - August 31st 2014, 10:58 PM

Thanks for the help guys. This was amazing and has really helped me out.


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