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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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I'm too fat to have an ED - September 7th 2014, 11:01 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've been anorexic for 5+ years, and I've lost so much weight. I was close to death, because I was so underweight. I've spend so many years gaining weight, loosing weight, gaining, loosing and so on..
I've reached my goal weight, and my BMI is around [Edited] i just feel sooo fat.
I've lost a little bit weight again. But I dont take it serously because I'm too FAT to have anorexia. I'm too fat to exist.
I'm nothing but fat. And I can't take it much longer.





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Last edited by PSY; September 7th 2014 at 04:25 PM. Reason: Indicators of body weight (e.g., BMI) are not permitted on TeenHelp.
   
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Re: I'm too fat to have an ED - September 7th 2014, 11:30 AM

Hey As someone who has suffered from an eating disorder, I know how hard it is to look at yourself and see what's really there. Hell, I still can't do that most of the time. But what you have to remember most of all is that reardless of how much you weigh, your goal here isn't appearance or weight, it's health. It's recovery. And if recovery means gaining some weight, then that's what has to happen. It's not easy, no one ever said it was, but with support you will find the strength to get through this, and when you get to the other side of all of this, it will be so worth it.

Have you got people supporting you? Parents or guardians, friends, other family members? Let the people close to you know that you are struggling, if you can. Are you in any kind of treatment? It's incredibly difficult to beat an eating disorder on your own, and even just having a counselor to talk to can be a massive help.

There is so much more to you than your weight. Fat doesn't define you. How much fat you have on your body does not dictate how great a person you are. I don't know you, but think about what you've achieved. You're here, age 17. You're surviving. You're strong. And, despite what fat you may or may not have, what makes you you is your personality. Your quirks. Your smile. Your interests. The love you show to others. The way you survive. You are more than your body. I hope one day you'll be able to see that, but until that day, know that there are people who care about you and who you can talk to.


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Re: I'm too fat to have an ED - September 7th 2014, 11:35 AM

I dont think I'm strong enough to recover..
My family and institution i live on knows about my ED and other diagnosises.
I've been in treatment for my ED since I was 13. Today, I dont get help for my eating disorder.





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Re: I'm too fat to have an ED - September 7th 2014, 01:23 PM

I have BMI of around [Edited]. But I don't feel fat and I'm pretty sure I'm not. Look around you if you say you're fat than most of the worlds population is enormous. I don't have any experince in this exept for being a teener girl. But I just want to say that with what you just told me:

YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CCAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT YOU CAN NOT BE FAT

There, I've said it. And I have no idea if this is of any help at all but I hope that it is and I'm proud that I can reply to someone who has come so far already and who is fighting so hard. And I have problems myself too but where you despite having a hard time have reached your goal i haven't reached mine so in that sense of the word you are an example for me and i still have to see if I can reach my goal and keep myself from caving into my demons.

And please don't you ever stop fighting yours because it really would hurt a lot of people and the world would lose one of it's heroes.

Last edited by PSY; September 7th 2014 at 04:26 PM. Reason: Indicators of body weight (e.g., BMI) are not permitted on TeenHelp.
   
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Re: I'm too fat to have an ED - September 9th 2014, 11:13 PM

I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard time right now. I completely understand where you are coming from. Even though I haven't been officially/professionally diagnosed with an eating disorder, I do have disordered behaviors and I honestly do think I have an eating disorder.

Anyways, I know how hard it is can be to ignore the ED thoughts. It is a part of recovery that you have to deal with those thoughts/feelings. You are going to have some good days and you are going to have some bad days. You are also going to go through many relapses. I know for me, I am fat, by my doctors and my own self. I am fat because of the bmi and because of my weight and height. My "ED" for me, I beat myself up as a way to be hard on myself as I was made fun of my weight and looks for almost my entire life, but my "ED" didn't develop until I was almost out of high school. Anyways, there is no such thing as being "too fat to have an ED". Anyone can have an eating disorder and it doesn't matter what weight you are at. Even though there are certain standards that are out there that a person must have in order to have that disorder, you could still have an eating disorder. Here is an article on TH that I have found that talks about the different types of eating disorders:
http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f81-e...ing-disorders/

I am not saying you are fat. I am just saying that there is no such thing as being "too fat to have an ED". You can be any weight and still have an eating disorder. Both sides of the spectrum are still unhealthy, whether you are underweight or overweight.

Anyways, I, too, know how hard it is to like yourself and like what you see when you also have an ED. Those are just the ED thoughts beating up on you and telling you to believe whatever the "ED" is saying/telling you to believe. I would say to just ignore them, but that never really works out. I know you mentioned being in an institution and doctors, but are you currently seeing a therapist/counsellor? If you are seeing a therapist/counsellor, then talk to them about what you are going through. Tell them about your ED thoughts/behaviors, plus other things about your ED that maybe bothering you. However, if you are not seeing a therapist/counsellor, then I suggest that you see one right away and following whatever I said above what to talk to a therapist/counsellor about.

In the meantime, have you thought about keeping a journal/diary? When I saw my first counsellor in my freshman year college (I'm currently a junior in college), my counsellor mentioned something about keeping a journal/diary. He also mentioned making a list of positive/negative thoughts I may have had that day. He said that everyday or on days that I do this, that each day should have the positive thoughts outweighing the negative thoughts.

Do you have any one that you are close with and are comfortable with sharing/talking with them about whatever it is that is bothering you? I think you should talk to someone as it seems that your ED is affecting to some extent again and you should try to get onto the path of recovery now, before it gets worse again. You may or may not relapse again and that is okay. It is apart of recovery, but there comes a time when you have to take the reins and kick the ED right in the butt.

I hope this helps you out some. Please stay strong and never give up hope.




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