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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Having trouble eating? - September 19th 2014, 04:36 AM

Lately I've been having problems with eating....my dad, mom...keep getting on me about losing weight....my depression has been getting worse and I keep skipping meals and now every time I try to eat I just feel nauseous and I feel like I want to throw up....Every time I eat I have the strong urge to cut, to punish myself.... I've tried to throw up but I can't, I get scared and start to sob....what do I do....what's wrong with me....? I'm so scared.....


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Re: Having trouble eating? - September 19th 2014, 03:05 PM

Hey!

Don't be scared, it's okay to be feeling like that! What you could try, is low fat meals e.g an omelette or even a salad. Or if a meal seems too big, you could get a low fat yoghurt or a cereal bar and when you feel okay with eating them to slowly eat more. If you explain to your parents about how you are feeling they might be able to understand and if they don't they might even take you to a doctor which will help. They won't treat you any differently or think of you badly, everyone just wants the best for you.

Purging is really bad for you, for some people who purge they don't end up losing weight and can lead to some serious health problems. It's a dangerous cycle that is very difficult to stop as many people on here will be able to tell you! Whenever you feel the need to purge just picture the end result if you do. It won't be a good one.

If losing weight is your goal then exercise, if you exercise like doing jogging or downloading an app on your phone (which are very good) then eating hopefully won't make you feel as guilty. Everybody needs to eat and it is necessary, so there's no reason to feel guilty, make sure you eat lots of fruit and drink water!

Relax and remember that you're beautiful. Even if you think you aren't, you might look at the mirror and hate what you see back but your vision is distorted by how you are feeling and I promise you, you are NOT fat, you are NOT ugly. The only way to be ugly is by being a horrible person and that I'm pretty sure you're not.

If you ever need to message me then please do, I'm always here if you need to talk and don't forget that you're beautiful okay?

Take care!



   
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Re: Having trouble eating? - September 20th 2014, 09:17 PM

"Relax and remember that you're beautiful. Even if you think you aren't, you might look at the mirror and hate what you see back but your vision is distorted by how you are feeling and I promise you, you are NOT fat, you are NOT ugly. The only way to be ugly is by being a horrible person and that I'm pretty sure you're not." I like your point here Emily


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Re: Having trouble eating? - September 21st 2014, 08:12 PM

Hey (:

First I want to establish something: when you eat and feel nauseous and like you want to throw up, is this a physical problem, or do you think it's more to do with your emotional state and how you feel? If it's a physical problem, I'd say you need to see a doctor as soon as possible. If not:

Sweetheart, this is not something you can continue. I know you're scared, and I really don't want to scare you further. But what you're doing is causing serious damage, and if you continue there's a very real possibility this will kill you. It sounds like your parents aren't being particularly supportive right now, and I think you need to talk to them in this. Their job as parents is to look after you and care for you but it sounds like what they're doing now is just causing more damage. You don't have to tell them everything if you don't want to (I'll get onto this in a bit); a simple "please stop with the weight comments" might be enough for them to get the message and stop. It really sounds like it's hurting you and that's not right.

As for the skipping meals and depression. The depression I can't really address on any level other than sharing my personal experience: When I started eating right, 3 meals a day with snacks, my mental state improved. Sure all the fear around the food stayed and I felt like shit a lot, but there were times during the day when things seemed brighter. These periods started getting longer over time, and now I'm happier and don't think about food at all. I can't explain why eating made me feel better, I can only assume it's biological. It's worth a go though, right? This leads me onto my next point. Eating will not cause you to gain weight. Seriously, it won't. Everybody has a "set point"; the weight at which their body will stay at when they eat normally and exercise normally. It won't fluctuate much unless you change your lifestyle permanently. A temporary change in lifestyle will cause a temporary change in weight. If you want to lose weight permanently (and not end up dead within a year) is to eat healthily. Listen to your body: it's clever. If you're tired, eat some carbs: potato, pasta, sweets. If you feel a craving for something sweet, try eating some fruit. Still listen to your craves. If you really fancy some chips, have them! It's not gonna cause a change in your weight. I hate to go back to my own life, but since I moved out a month ago, I've eaten lots of junk and fast foods whilst adapting to living alone. My body weight hasn't changed at all. Everyone has a set point, and your body will generally try to stay at that weight; not above or below. Don't fight it, accept it.

"Your body is just a vehicle transporting your soul." Is a buddist saying, I do believe. It's true. You are so much more than your weight. You are your smile, your likes and dislikes, the music you listen to and the things you think about just before you fall asleep. Your weight is nothing, and people aren't gonna like or dislike you any more based on it. I'll let you in on a trade secret: a low weight doesn't equal health either. There are so many more factors.

After meals, distract yourself. A favorite tv show, a warm blanket, music, a game, anything. If you still struggle with eating, you're gonna have to tell someone about this. Eating is not an option. You either eat at home, or you'll get forced in a hospital, and that's not fun. Are you seeing anyone about your depression? You could mention this next time you see them/

I wish you the very best. Hugs <3

Laura



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