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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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_Headphones_ Offline
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I am Fed up. - September 24th 2015, 07:55 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I am fed up with my ED. First of all my grandma was talking to my case manager and said something about my eating disorder being only over eating. But that isn't what I'm diagnosed as. I have EDNOS. Anyway right now I'm eating anything and everything. I am just so fed up. I go to bed and plan not to eat every night and then I go and mess it up and eat. I think of self-harm all the damn time. I think about it 24/7. I just want this to be all over. The residental place says I might be too sick to go there then all the others say I'm not sick enough. I'm just fucked.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: I am Fed up. - September 28th 2015, 06:10 PM

Hey Frankie,

That sounds really infuriating and hard to deal with. It's hard enough to go about seeking help without being faced with these additional obstacles, and I really wish I knew what to suggest. I would really recommend you keep trying though- it's really important you seek help so you can overcome this, because no one deserves to have to deal with this forever.

People often say things they don't realize are actually really triggering (and sometimes ignorant, too). I'm sure your grandma didn't mean any harm- maybe she just doesn't know the details of your eating disorder? I can see how her saying things like that could trigger you, especially if you know it's not true. Talk to your case manager if you want- but I think in cases like this they pay more attention to the actual patient anyway, so they may value what you say to them more anyway. I remember once I had a conversation with a mental health worker that really triggered me, because she was trying to basically tell me I wasn't "sick enough" for all of treatment I'd been given- or that was my perception at the time. The thing is, the more you recover, the less things like that will bother you. If someone says something ignorant to me now it bounces straight off my back. Similarly, when you recover things like this will gradually stop bothering you.

You can get there, I believe in you. We're always here, and I really hope you find somewhere that helps you. Just keep trying



Take as long as you need.
   
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