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anorexic friend - December 3rd 2015, 07:32 PM

So I used to be really close with someone about 2 years ago. We`ve been in the same class for almost 5 years now.
And now she is anorexic. She started to try losing weight more than 2 years ago but noone really noticed because she`s always been the quiete type of human.

But after summer break me and my class mates realized how skinny she got. And her entire behavior is showing that she really has a problem.
These are just some examples: she eats really slowly and not enough at all, she`s uncomfortable and hides her food under the table while eating, she stares at thin girls, she seems kinda depressed and doesn`t talk to anybody & never smiles, she`s always looking at her thighs while sitting down, her hair got really thin, shes so skinny that you can see literally all of her bones. Plus she trys to hide desperately that she has an eating problem.

Today I talked to her best friend about it. She told me that her parents put a lot of pressure on her because they want their daughter to be perfect. They`ve always been really strict. They don`t know how to deal with their daughter`s illness. They force her to eat which is obviously the wrong way because this will only put more pressure on her. She needs professional help. Her parents always say that they`re trying to search help for her but Im pretty sure they think they can deal with it on their own, because they said that they`ll seek help several months ago but yet my anorexic friend didn`t get any professional help.

one of my classmates, who used to be anorexic as well tried to talk to her but it didnt change anything at all.

I cant watch my classmate starving herself anymore. I`m really worried about her. At her weight one should be in hospital because otherwise it will get reaaally dangerous. She`s so weak.

I mean Im not close with her anymore. We just spend lunch time together, talk sometimes and stuff but I knew her for 5 years and we used to be close and have lots of memories together.
Many people just say that it`s her parents task to help her and that I can do nothing but be nice to her and let her know that I`m there for her and that I care for her. But to be honest I don`t feel like that`s enough. I want her to be healthy again and she / her parents cant achieve that on their own.


I don`t know what to do. I can`t sleep at night because I`m so worried. Should I talk to the school psychologist and ask him for advice (maybe he could talk to her parents as well?)? Or should me and my classmates talk to her parents ourselves? Or maybe we should just wait until she breaks down so she HAS to go to hospital?
   
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Re: anorexic friend - December 3rd 2015, 09:05 PM

Hey Nadine and welcome
Even though you're not close to this person anymore it's very clear that you care about her well-being. If there is a school psychologist or counselor, he or she is your best option here. They can help you deal with this as well as help her and her parents find the support outside of school that she really needs. They will also know what to do about her parents, if they aren't getting her help, they can do something or if they want to, but don't know where to turn, this person will have access to resources for them. I'm sorry this is stressing you out so much. I think the sooner you can talk to the school professional the better for both you and her.


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Re: anorexic friend - December 5th 2015, 01:50 PM

Hey there!

I do agree to talk to your schools psychologist because he or she can give you advice on how to help her as a friend. Also he or she may talk to her and probably her parents as well. Because I don't recommend wait til she has to go to has to go hospital due to medical problems she could have. So I think it is best to talk to your schools psychologist as soon as you can because the sooner she gets help she needs, the better the outcome At the meantime, just be nice and supportive to your friend. I hope I help and it goes well for you!
   
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