TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
beachpeach Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
beachpeach's Avatar
 
Gender: Female

Posts: 19
Join Date: April 10th 2016

Unhappy How to handle comments on my weight? - April 10th 2016, 06:52 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

The thing is my family and family friends make comments about how skinny i am. Or at least they used to when i was at a lower weight but it still was at a healthy range! My mum would say how i must weight only like edited pounds, my aunt said i look like... i don't know the word for this one. In my mother tounge that word she said means a horse that about to die from starvation . Its something like a synonym for really skinny. But still my bmi was still just above edited. That's healthy, right? But the problem is ive gained back a few pounds during this stressful exam period which i want to lose. But i think the comments will return too. And im afraid that theyve found out about my ED somehow. They werent rude btw. My aunt used a kind and funny voice actually. And i also tried to tell my mum to stop because i know her intentions are good but they make me feel insecure. I was proud of myself and my weight then despite the unhealthy metods i used to achive it but due to their comments i dont even like my skinny body anymore. But i hate being fat too. I want to lose weight again but they will comment on it a lot and if i try to stop them im afraid they will take that as a confirmation of my ED. But what should i do about it? I dont like it when they say things like that.

Last edited by Melancholia.; April 10th 2016 at 06:54 PM. Reason: Please don't include weight/BMI numbers. :)
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
JazzyJazz Offline
Associate HelpLINK Mentor
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
JazzyJazz's Avatar
 
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 394
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: September 15th 2015

Re: How to handle comments on my weight? - April 10th 2016, 07:56 PM

Hey there.

This is the bit that stood out to me:
Quote:
Originally Posted by smolwhale View Post
I was proud of myself and my weight then despite the unhealthy metods i used to achive it but due to their comments i dont even like my skinny body anymore. But i hate being fat too.
First of all, as you already seem to understand, losing weight using unhealthy methods is not good. You have punished your body when you should be being kind to it. I'm sorry that you felt like you had to do that.

There are people who will tell you, "Don't worry about what other people think of you, take no notice." Whilst I do agree that it is not a good idea to take everything other people say to heart, if it's your close relatives who are making comments, and they are not doing it in a rude way, it's because they are concerned about your welfare. I think you know this already, but you need to look at the reasons for their concern, i.e. you don't appear healthy.

You say that you hate being fat, but being skinny and fat are not the only options. Ideally you should be somewhere in the middle - not fat, but not skinny either. BMI scores are not the only thing that you should be focusing on and there are lots of articles online explaining why the BMI is a poor measure of health. You should find out what your ideal weight is by visiting a doctor, and then aim for that.

Do not feel ashamed for gaining a few pounds. If you are to find a healthy weight, you probably will have to do that. It is okay. I know that in your eating disorder world, gaining weight is sinful, but you have to realise that if you are underweight then putting on a few pounds is not a bad thing. However, as with losing weight, gaining it should also be done in a healthy way. This was probably not the case with your exam-related increase, which is perhaps another reason why you feel negatively about it.

I am concerned that you are hiding your eating disorder from your family, but I do understand why. I think it is important that you seek help with it though, because otherwise your weight is always something that you are going to struggle with and I would hate for you to further harm your body by trying to lose weight unhealthily.

Is there anyone you could talk to about how you are feeling? A trusted adult who isn't part of your family? One of your teachers at school/college perhaps? If you have no one else to turn to, you could always speak to a counsellor. They are very understanding and the information you share is confidential.


Be kind to yourself.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
beachpeach Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
beachpeach's Avatar
 
Gender: Female

Posts: 19
Join Date: April 10th 2016

Re: How to handle comments on my weight? - April 10th 2016, 08:34 PM

Hi! Thank you for the reply.
I should really not care about it, which i really try to do, but its hard. I have always been ridiculed for my looks.

Yeah im hiding it because i dont want them to feel bad or be concered about it. Its not even that bad and i have it under control. I dont want to fuss over nothing. :/
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
JazzyJazz Offline
Associate HelpLINK Mentor
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
JazzyJazz's Avatar
 
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 394
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: September 15th 2015

Re: How to handle comments on my weight? - April 10th 2016, 08:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by smolwhale View Post
Hi! Thank you for the reply.
I should really not care about it, which i really try to do, but its hard. I have always been ridiculed for my looks.
It's great that you're trying not to get offended, but I still think it is important to look at why they are concerned, i.e. you may not be a healthy weight for your height.

To be sure, it would be worth you making an appointment with your doctor. That way you won't just be relying on what you or your family think.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smolwhale View Post
Yeah im hiding it because i dont want them to feel bad or be concered about it. Its not even that bad and i have it under control. I dont want to fuss over nothing. :/
You don't have to tell them, but I think it is important to tell someone if it is affecting your life.

You are not fussing over nothing. If this is having an impact on you then it is not "nothing".

Were you officially diagnosed with an eating disorder, or have you self-diagnosed?


Be kind to yourself.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
beachpeach Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
beachpeach's Avatar
 
Gender: Female

Posts: 19
Join Date: April 10th 2016

Re: How to handle comments on my weight? - April 10th 2016, 09:21 PM

I thought im healthy. I think her concern is not specifically for me. I dont remember this because i was too young then, but my mum told me my older sister used to have eating problems. Almost had to go to a clinic. And maybe she suspects i have problems too because of that.

Okay. Thank you i will concider telling about it someone. But im really reluctant to.

Self. Though once we went to my doctor with my mum. Not related thing. I had to make my abdomen completely free and after the examination my doc asked a lot of questions suddenly about my height and weight and whether i have grew recently. I lied about both so the doc told my mom that 'it must be because shes still growing' and she doesnt have to worry but actually im at this height for like 4 years. I didnt even concidered ED before this. But i think i have some sort of. Just dont know which kind or how severe or anything.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
JazzyJazz Offline
Associate HelpLINK Mentor
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
JazzyJazz's Avatar
 
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 394
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: September 15th 2015

Re: How to handle comments on my weight? - April 10th 2016, 09:42 PM

I didn't mean to suggest that you have an eating disorder. Only a health professional can diagnose you and I wasn't trying to do that. When you said, "im afraid they will take that as a confirmation of my ED", I figured that potentially having an eating disorder was something that both you and your family were aware of, hence why I said things such as, "in your eating disorder world..."

So yeah, I can't confirm whether you do or don't have an eating disorder, but some of the things that you have said here indicate that it would be worth you being checked for one.

I think you are right; your mum is probably taking into consideration what happened to your sister. But that doesn't mean that she is not concerned for you specifically.

Opening up to someone about something that you have kept to yourself is always daunting, but I think you will feel better once you have some support with this. The problem with disordered eating is that it can very easily get out of control and you might not see it happening. This is true of many mental health issues. The advantage of having someone in your life who knows the truth is that they can look out for you and you are less at risk of becoming seriously unwell. Plus the emotional support can help you to feel stronger.



Be kind to yourself.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
beachpeach Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
beachpeach's Avatar
 
Gender: Female

Posts: 19
Join Date: April 10th 2016

Re: How to handle comments on my weight? - April 10th 2016, 09:53 PM

It's my bad. I shouldnt have sad i have ed if no professionals diagnosed me with it, right? I apologize.

Maybe you are right.

Thank you for all the replies. It means a lot
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
comments, eating disorder, handle, weight

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.