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Im way too obsessed - May 17th 2016, 03:29 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ive been depressed and it all began with other mental pain but now i just dont have control of my life. I want to die. I never want to eat again in my life. My friend told me that Im slowly killing myself and I said "oh, i had no idea! (sarcatic)". And i feel like im losing friends and people hate me. And every time that happens, i have the urge to stop eating altogether ever since I quit cutting. Now i cut my food in tiny peices and pretend that I ate. I lie about food these days and I dont know what to do. I hate lying and I dream every night of suicide. I want to so bad no matter how much it hurts other. Man, that sounded really cruel. But i dont want to live anymore. Im so fat, im hated by every one, i cant seem to figure out how to keep my own friends and this life seems hopeless. I wrote on my wrist "never give up" just to try and convince myself that I need to stay alive. Im very ambitious so i shouldnt give up on life but i dont want to live.

Now at lunch break at school, i hide in the bothroom so that no one will see me or want to socialize. I hate being rejected and I hate out of place. If i hide in the bathroom, i wouldnt have to face the reality of my life. I could just pretent not to be there. Please help.
   
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Re: Im way too obsessed - May 20th 2016, 06:55 PM

Ps. Does anyone have any suggestions at all?
   
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