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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Morpheus Offline
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Name: M
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: Middle of a forest in Canada, usually.

Posts: 16
Join Date: October 14th 2014

Disordered Eating - June 12th 2016, 11:25 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I will shorten this to make it easy.

I used to take sertraline (Zoloft). I gained editedpounds.

I got off of it, and I starved the weight off.

It never came back, and my weight has stayed the same.

However, I never liked my original weight either. Shortly before the Zoloft, I had gained about editedlbs, so it was more like I was editedlbs heavier than before.

Nothing works. I eat fruits and vegetables and grains. That is all. I never eat anything outside of these foods. I don't have "cheat" days. I eat healthy every day and I have tried eating little, eating lots, eating in between, eating more of something or less of something.

My conclusion is that solid foods make me continue to gain, like grains.

Fruits, vegetables, and smoothies or otherwise liquids do not make me gain.

Doctors haven't been able to help.

My answer is starving myself or eating liquids. It is honestly getting me to be suicidal. I won't kill myself, but I am seriously feeling more and more like I want to just drop dead or die in my sleep, because I am eating healthy for absolutely nothing. There is no purpose to eating healthy if I just watch myself get fatter.

My entire family has viewed me as the fat one when I am not even fat, simply because my sister is a bit taller and carries the same weight "better" apparently.

I've always been called fat, but I am actually at a healthy weight, just not underweight like most girls my age who are now considered "average".

I cannot take feeling like everyone thinks I am the fat one and all I do is eat healthy. It feels like they are all thinking about how I'm fat but eat healthy and they're not but eat anything.

I cannot live like this anymore.

Last edited by Hypothesis.; June 12th 2016 at 11:48 PM. Reason: Please do not include weight numbers. :)
   
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