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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Recovered...Maybe Not... - September 15th 2017, 01:55 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So yesterday I watched Home and Away (anyone else watch that...? ) and there's this character called Coco, and so basically she got bullied at her new school and stuff by some girl, and in the episode yesterday she was eating cookies, then she was going to throw them in the bin but didn't. Instead, she ate all of the cookies and ended up eating a lot more, then made herself sick.

I know that it's just acting, but it did bring back some memories for me. Especially since my life is still no better.

I still like the boy and whenever I think about him swearing at me I feel like binging and exercising it all off.
I still really like him and can't help but think that he used to like me too. Now he has realized how ugly I am and has told me to fuck off. I want to do something to change myself. I want to binge and exercise a lot. I have even joined a pro-ana website.

So much for me being recovered

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Re: Recovered...Maybe Not... - September 15th 2017, 07:09 PM

Recovering is a process and, even if you get to the point where you don't actively participate in your ed for years that doesn't mean you will not have the thoughts from time to time. I think that the best thing to do is to try not to be super hard on yourself for struggling right now. From experience, the harder I was on myself for relapsing or joining unhealthy sites ... the worse the habits started to get because the self hatred increased tenfold.

That being said, I think you should consider finding a therapist to talk to. I know therapy isn't always an issue but the biggest thing a therapist could offer you is support as well as tools to figure out how to deal with any unhealthy thoughts that might pop up.

Lastly, I know that it can be tempting to be apart of a 'pro-ana' site but these sites usually are not the best group to be part of. It can definitely help to talk to people who have dealt with a lot of the same struggles but in most instances people who are on pro-ana sites aren't trying to recover so instead of finding people who can relate to your struggles and will encourage you to keep pushing forward; you are more likely to find people who will be struggling with their own eating disorder and, as such, you might find more encouragement to continue the unhealthy habits. I think the best thing you can do is deactivate the account or change the password to something you won't remember so that it will take a bit more effort for you to utilize the site.

Best of luck.

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